i stopped blogging because...

I was so pre-occupied the past 3 or 4 years. I kept on worrying problems that I can't resolve in a short span of time. I still have these problems as I write this.

I was so confused on what am I supposed to do with my life.

I was depressed.

I didn't have anything to share that's worth sharing.  In my opinion.

I was busy with other social media sites like facebook, twitter and instagram (The whole world is!).

I've been to 2 countries: Hongkong (2012) and Thailand (2013). I'll be adding one more next month.

I was a corporate slave and I don't know when will I be free or move to a new "master".

I was trying to spend more time with my Bebe (yes, we're still together), my friends (I have few friends now compared to when I was younger) and of course, my family.

I turned 27, then 28, 29 and the big 3-0!

I watched a lot of videos in youtube. Mostly SNL, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, Musicals, Alan Carr and Graham Norton.

Oh yeah, I watched Wicked the Musical live in CCP.

I was also able to have the Kylie Minogue experience. I watched her Aphrodite Manila Leg of her tour. I HAD SO MUCH FUN!

I was also busy getting fat, sick and drunk.

I was smoking.

Slept. A lot!

I was having a hard time trying to find the right words to say. I think it's due to me getting older or too many anesthesia.

And I was trying to convince myself that nothing is really happening with my life. By writing this blog entry (i know, it's been years since my last post), i realized that a lot of good things, no, great things that happened in my life for the past 3 or 4 years.

I denied myself the luxury of exeriencing what life is all about. I never get to appreciate what they call simple joys.

I was also busy frowning.

I hope moving forward, i'll be busy with making me and the persons around me happy again.

I hope I'll be busy having fun and sharing those moments with you through this blog.

Just a reminder, i will not be posting things just for the sake of bragging. People get to experience things differently in terms of when, where and how it happened. The most important is what you were feeling at that moment.

Getting Connected

I'm not ashamed to say that we just had WIFI connection at home yesterday. OMG!! Some of you might say but I think it's pretty normal here in our country that having internet connection at home is not that common.There's still a lot of computer shops here. There's also free WIFI in coffee shops, malls, restaurants, schools, and other public establishments.

I used to think that having internet connection at home would be a blast! I've been thinking of things that i'll do, things that i'll post and most certainly looking forward to a lot of things that I'll know once it's already here. There's pros and cons of having easy access to the internet.

For students, if you have a deadline on a paper or you just need to research on something. You can do it in an hour including editing and printing your work.

For others, it's more of entertainment purposes. Watching the most recent episode of your favorite series that hasn't been shown here in the Philippines. If you would like to post something you have, made, went to or anything. Reading news, articles, download novels or look for recipes.

There's a lot of things you could do on the internet and If I'll go in enumerating all of these, I'm not going to finish this blog. :)

Over the weekend, I noticed that no one is really talking to each other. All of us are busy using our tablets, phones and laptops. There's a lot of things to do right?

When I meet up with friends, almost all of us have internet in our smartphones. We would chat for a bit then everyone becomes silent. Not the awkward type of silence but we're silent because we're browsing on our phones like checking recent posts on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and other social media sites. There's nothing much to talk about because even though you seldom see each  other, you're still updated on what things they are up to because of their posts on the mentioned social media sites.

When I walk around, I see people with their heads bowed and guess what they're doing? You got it. Looking at their devices.

When I'm in the train, bus, fx, or any public transport. Same thing.

There's a a never ending pros that we could think of but I think there's only one con. Personal Interaction is going to be extinct.

Are we going to let this happen? What should we do?

In these fast changing times, I think we should pause and observe the things that have been missing. Your friends and family are there beside you. Have a chat. Kamustahin niyo ang isa't isa. You don't have to wait for them to go far away to realize the I should'ves.

You could spend at least an hour each day free from these. Don't worry it's just 60 minutes. Quality time i best spent unattached to the world.

These devices are nice and very useful but please don't forget that all of these are not permanent. Even us.

A degree: Still a dream.

Just like any kid, I grew up dreaming of becoming something. I wanted to become a doctor to help people who are sick. That dream made me motivated to study harder, do good in school and avoid any type of distraction.

Many think of me as a geek in school. I wore very thick eyeglasses, i had a very big backpack full of books. i always bring everything. I was somewhat neat but always end up going home in a mess.

I loved going to school most of the time. I study at home before playing. I always make sure my school stuff is ready before sleeping. I make sure that I have an answer to what our teacher asks us and I recite so that my teacher notices me.

In my early years in school, I'm just an average student. I only have a few star moments like joining quiz bees, joining the dance troup and becoming a club member. I never experienced going up the stage to receive a medal or an award.

Everything changed when I got to 6th grade until I graduated high school. I was surprsed of what I become. I was at the top of the class, i found some of the subjects I took in class very easy to understand. I good excellent grades with or without effort.

I just thought of it when I was writing this that it got into my head too much that I was becoming inteligent, bright and becoming very good with things. I thought I can do everything. It saddens me because I think that I gave myself too much pressure to good with everything that I do and when I'm about to fail in something, i quickly avoid it. I ended up not facing challenges. Scared to fail.

Then I watched TV this morning, was just browsing the channels. Then I saw someone speaking, he was preaching. You know about Sunday morning TV here in the Philippines. There's nothing to watch but mass and a pastor preaching. I listened and thought about what he's talking about.

He was talking about having faith. Being faithful to God, to your family, to your employer and to everyone. Then I thought, was that the only thing that I was lacking? If I could remember, I had faith. I was faithful! Why did I lose it? When did I lose it?

i stopped asking those questions. I should do something. NOW! I'm going to start all over. It's not going to be easy but I'll do it one step at a time. SInce I'm currently employed, which is by the way already a blessing, be faithful to my job. Eventually, things will fall into place like before.

I can eventually go back to school without any interference or interruptions. I had to stop when I came back because of mommy. I'm glad i did because I was able to spend my time with her.

i think nows the time to begin. Start a new journey. I can always relax and have fun. There's always going to be a time for it but now I only have to concentrate on one thing. My job.

Soon I'll be able to attain that dream. I just needed faith. i never thought that a five letter word, that used to be a name of a section when I was in prep is the answer.

First Quarter of 2010

January – We were still in the hospital, mom still not ok. We were being asked of we would still like her to stay in the hospital or let her go home. We decided to stay and continue with the medicine. January 15, I woke up at 4am. Was checking for mom’s heartbeat… it was still there. 7am, when I was about to buy her medicines, checked it again, it was gone. Woke up my sister, called the nurses and then it hit me. It was really happening. I called my sisters, aunts and uncle. They came and she was gone. 4 years of battle, lost. Mom was resting in peace finally. We mourned, she was cremated. I cried and got lonely.

February – went back to work, still missing my mom. I was pressured to pass my scorecard, which I did. Sold some, always present and was a very good employee. We brought mom’s ashes to Batangas where she’ll be resting. I’m still missing her even though it was already past 40 days and my bebe because he way away for almost a year.

March – was a very hard month for me. I was absent, wasn’t selling that good, I’m about to reach my 1st year in the company and the past year wasn’t good. I’m thinking if I’m still worth keeping there. If I should continue, if there’s still a chance for me to do good. I got and was still depressed. I got sick by the end of the month and everything went down from there.

I still want to continue, most of them told me. I want support, I want guidance. I have to save money, stop spending. I want to start going back to shape. I still want so many things but I’m not doing anything.

I want to learn how not to pressure myself. Take things easy. How could I? How will I do it? I’m sad, lonely and sick.

Lord Please Help me!

Typhoon Ondoy (Ketsana): my side of the story!

It started Friday, Sept 25, 2009, when I went to my bebe's office to give a package that he's asking for me to let his officemate bring with her to Florida. He asked me to buy a Cory Aquino stamp, 2 boxer shorts and to include the religous books he left. I bought and brought those and put it inside a little white box. I coated it with scotch tape and wrote his name and placed LLMMAAA at the back. LLMMAAA means Laboo Laboo Miss Miss Amoo Amoo Amoo! After dropping it off at his office, After that, I walked from Boni to Crossing since there's no rain and I didin't know that there's a strom coming.

It was also pay day so why not buy something for myself. I chose to go to shangri-la since it's near and it's right next to the place where I can hail a jeep or fx. I window shopped and eventually bought something! It took me almost 5 hours to see which clothing will bring fireworks! That's how I shop by the way! I need to hear a big bang or even applaus before I buy something! Hahaha!

It was already raining when I went home and I was also expecting someone to come over to check Mumuy, our dog. Two friends came, Dave the vet and lava James. After the check up, we went home! To Malate that is! We went to Obar and drank and drank and drank! The vet and lava was able to bring someone home. Three went there and then suddenly five went home. They dropped me off at our gate and they went on with a very productive night!

I was really drunk that night and I even have a shift on saturday night. So i went straight to bed and slept. I had a good nights sleep since it's raining and it was a really cool day. i oftentimes woke up and need to vomit because of a really really bad hangover.

When I woke up come 3pm, I heard splashes and my dog barking! what the f@ck! Then I saw water on the floor and I sprang up and checked outside! Wow, water level is rising! OMG!

At first I didn't know what to de. After 4 years of staying here, this is the only time it happened I chose to carry our tv, dvd and other things that were there. Good thing we have a 2nd floor. I did some quick naps and checked the ground floor from time to time and the highest level that the water reached was my knees!

The sofa was wet, and paper was floating all over! I decided not to go to work and I was lucky that I was still able to send a text message to my boss. Eventually cellphone signals were down because of the typhoon.

I had no food for almost a day and I was only able to go out when the rain stopped but the water level haveb't subsided yet. I bought 1.5 liters of coke and 1 loaf bread with palaman!

I listened to the radio and I found out how much damaged was made. Severe flood happened in Rizal, Pasig, Muntinlupa and Laguna. Many people were calling radio stations to tell their families that they're ok, some are looking for friends or family members and even asking for help.

Everythins changed since that day. Many people were traumatized, some people were helping flood victims, there were many group who gave food and other things to the victims. I was really amazed with what I saw and made me think that the Bayanihan spirit I still within us Filipinos.

A few days after the incident, other countries also started helping. We thank them for being there for us too.

Eventhough I wasn't badly affected, I realized that all of us are still not ready for these things to happen. There's no one specifically to blame. It's all of us who caused this. Tragedy or no tragedy we should still help each other no matter what! We should help avoiding these things like not throwing garbage in place we sholdn't, stop cutting trees, recycle, plant more trees, prayand be more discipined!

Quarter life Crisis!

July 16 came, I became a year older then suddenly I realized, I'm 25! Where am I? What have I become... Do other 25 year old's have something that I don't? When I was a bit younger, I never thought of what I would be when I reach this age.

But since I'm 25, I think I like what I've done so far! I was able to save something for a rainy day, got my first plastic and of course I still have my bebe, my family and the best set of friends!

Career wise, I may not have an impressive CV but I think all is well. I'm. a slow-poke when it comes to work! I don't know why I tend to keep up with all the goals at a very slow pace. I'm not like this before and If you're going to ask me why, I'll answer you with "i think it's because of anesthesia!" Hahhahaha!

I can really say that I'm Filipino because I just try to laugh at my problems and just go with the flow. I don't think it would lead me into bigger problems but I wanted to make sure what i'm doing is right and that I comply with what they're asking from me.

What's on my mind right now

I've been trying to keep things to myself these days. I can't keep it to myself any longer. Just enjoy reading this!

First, I'm sick of feeling tired of working. When will it sink in that I have to do this not only for myself but for other people (e.g. Bebe, Mom, sisters). I've worked with other companies in the past and it seems like I haven't learned my lesson yet. I'm tired of asking, when will I learn?

With work, I've always been inconsistent. For a short span of time, I'm really motivated but most of the time, i'm at my lowest. I don't know what's happening. What's worse is that my work is being affected by it. I wanted to make it work and I have to figure out what's stopping me from doing it.

Having a job theses days means only one thing, to earn money to survive. I want to formulate even more "reasonable" why's. Why am I doing this...

I wanted to feel good when I help somebody financially. What I earn is a blessing. It has to be shared. However there's one thing. I hope they'll learn to think for themselves so that they can feel a sense of accomplishment of providing what needs to be provided, not just by asking for favors. I also have to learn this. I admit!

Catching Up!

It's been a long time since I wrote my last blog. I was trying to write two months ago but I wasn't able to finish it because I had a hard time uploading pictures. I just deleted three paragraphs of that post.

There's a lot of things that happened from the time I wrote. My bebe left the country last March 27 which is a day after I started my employment with a new company. By the way, I'm now working in a bank. The saddest part was, I wasn't able to bid farewell personally to my bebe because I have to go to work at 1:30 pm. He left by 9:20 pm and my shift ends at 10:30 pm. Too bad! The last time I saw him was when me, his brother and nieces met up with him, his mom, sisters, nephew and grandson in Mall of Asia.

I didn't have much time to say a proper goodbye because everyone was there. All I can do is look him in the eye and sa goodbye. I wanted to hug him but there's nothing I can do. I just thought, since we had the chance when I went to Lucena with him 4 days before his departure. We had the time to have ourselves ready to part ways temporarily and promised each other to be online as often as possible. We still do it until today. The only thing I hope is, hindi siya magsawa kaka-online.

I miss my bebe so much. It's a bit ok thanks to technology! Internet made everything a bit easy for us to adapt, we're still trying to adapt since he's been there for a month and a half.

i try to be online almost everyday, but there are times when I tend not to because of somethings that happened and kailangan ko nang ipagpabukas ung internet. I know my bebe understands and as much as I wanted to speak with him everyday, sometimes I get tired because of work, or I have to be with my mom to look out for her.

I'm happy that he's been doing well so far. When he got there, his apartment is semi furnished, and he only has to buy a few things because all the things he needed to survive is almost complete there. I'm happy also because he was able to have internet connected, bought a washing machine plus dryer and a flat screen tv. At least he won't be going to work with dirty clothes and he doesn't have to have a laptop infront of him all the time since he can also watch television.

Knowing those things made me not to worry too much. The only thing I worry about is, he might get homesick all the time. It might affect his work and of course, on how he'lllive his everyday life there.

It's good that whenever we talk, he was able to let them out. All I can do is listen, understand and comfort him. I don't eant him to feel lonely. I want him to feel that we are just here for him. I'm even encouraging him to have new friends there para naman maaliw siya. May mga nakilala na naman siya pero hi and hello pa lang nagaganap. Siguro kung matagal na siya doon, in 4 mos ok na siya.

Sana makapag-ipon ako para mabisita ko siya in a years time. I wanted to see where he lives, how he lives and which places he can go there.

I know it's not easy for him. I just want him to know that we're just right here in the Philippines. We're just a Ym, Fb or text away. He just have to think that he's in a province here and we're in Manila.

I hope he does adapt. I just wanted him to be safe there.

Countdown

Some thing's coming and I think it's going to be of the saddest days of my entire life. That is, me "bebe" leaving. He's not leaving because we're breaking up. He's leaving because he's going to work in the U.S. for three years. It might not only be for three years; if evening's turning out well, he might stay there for five years.

It's the 8th of March, a Sunday. I went to the Bureau of Internal Revenue in Quezon City. And as for him, he went home to Lucena in Quezon Province. I'm alone now, even though he hasn't left for the states, I can already feel the loneliness. I don't know if I'll be able to make it in three years.

During the past few weeks, he goes to work and study Capella. That's what his job is going to be. Running some software using the Capella application. I don't know and don't understand it but he showed me and I just nodded as if I'm understanding everything as he showed it to me a few weeks back.

There are so many things I'll miss when he's around. His company, jokes, his smell, his smile, words of encouragement, his kisses, his hugs and just the sight of him in the flesh.

It all came to me that he's really leaving when we bid farewell to a friend who went to California two Fridays ago. Bebe is supposed to leave the country with him on the same day, but his boss requested to extend his stay here. I was happy about that!

I'm sad because he's leaving but I'm also happy for him. This is a one time opportunity for him and I told him not to think twice and accept the offer. It's not only going to the US but he'll also have a chance to go and see different places which is at his age, he should be able to experience it.

I will miss him. Three year is a long time and thanks to yahoo messenger, it may be just a very short while.

Where to stay?

He's leaving in a month's time. He's going to stay in Florida for 3 years. I'll be in a long distance relationship and I don't know if we'll be able to work it out that way. Where will I stay while he's gone?

We've talked about it, when I told him that I wanted to stay with my mom in Las Pinas, he got sad. When his friends asked him where will I stay he old them it's up to me. I'm confused! I already asked somebody what's their take on this, they told me to stay in Las Pinas to avoid troub;e with his family. I'm just looking at the worst case scenario.

Totally, I'm a stranger to this house. They don't know where exactly my house is. They only know me as Vince, his friend who doesn't have a place to stay whenever he has work, To some, his boyfriend of almost 4 years.

I stayed here because of him. I wanted to be close to him everyday. I wanted to know what it feels like to have a man in my life in which I haven't experienced growing up. I wanted someone to guide me and to support me in everything I do. You know what, thats what I get here in this house.

Now that he's leaving, I'm alone again. Will i be able to go and live my life without him around. Knowing that there's YM, but is it enough? WIll I be able to get the same things through that?

I don't know why we can't talk about these things seriously. I sometimes think that I'm not a part of his decisions. Like what happened last night, he told his friends that he's going to Lucena tomorrow. not that i don't want him to go, but at least tell me that he's going.

There are time that his friends tell me that I should know this or some things that's been happening by now. I just tell them maybe he'll tell me about teh whole thing later, in which he didn't.

I wanted to confront him, or just tell him what I feel about this. But I'm afraid that he'll take it in another way. Or he might misunderstand what I'm trying to say.

I wanted to tell him that I'll be ab;e to tell him where I'll be staying once I find a new job. That I'm going to make things right for my life. That I'm tired of how things are and I wanted to change it. I wanted him to know what I feel and why these things are happening.

I realized that where to stay is not just the problem. It's us. There something wrong with everything and I'm not sure if he notices it, or i'm the one who's taking everything for granted.

Call Center Life... in gist!

Gising sa gabi, tulog sa umaga, inuman at 8am, lasing sa tanghali, social life score -100, holidays (wala sa bokabularyo), weekends off (luxury), split offs (parusa), rotating and shifting schedule, shift bid, sched swaps, 10X4 shifts, night differential, transpo and meal allowance, rice allowance( dapat!), 13th month pay, double pay, RD OT, OT TY,

Inbound cs, inbound sales, outbound sales, collections, financial cs, telecoms cs, healthcare, travel, transcription, technical support, email/chat support, business processing, payroll, hr, accounting, web design, techie stuff,

Chicken sa ministop, , 24 hour fastfood (Jollibee at Mcdonalds), coke, Starbucks, baon (pagnagtitipid at kung nagtratraining)

2 yosi sa 15 minute break, sakay ng elevator, 1 hour lunch… tawad 45 minutes… final offer 30 minutes… wag na lang.

auto-in, aux, coaching, log out, head set, Avaya, Plantronics, sup call, aht, queuing, avail, petiks, quality scores, CSAT! VOC! Sales rate, LPH, calls per day, per month, per year,

limpak limpak na jacket, shawl, spill proof mugs, makapal na curtain (black dapat),

training, Can 8, role play, call simulation, interview, competency assurance, Neutral English, evaluation,

taxi, jeep, ordinary na bus, lakad, peppermint spray, kotse

How may I help you today? Was I able to solve your inquiry? Is there anything else for today? May I verify your name, dob, acct number and last four digits of your social? To make sure I understand it correctly you said your concern was… We don’t tolerate the language your using… this is my second warning… I’d like to repeat we do not tol…I’m sorry I have to release this call… thank you for calling. Good morning! I’m sorry to hear that. Let me help you with that. I’ll wee if my supervisor is available. I would like to inform you that we’re offering… oh I see, maybe some other time. Do you have kids? Maybe you can give them a birthday gift or something… I’m sure you’ll be interested when you hear the details. This is for security purposes.

NCNS, excessive absences, excessive tardiness, call avoidance, drop call, inappropriate transfer, low quality scores, economic crisis, pull out, center closure, illegal phone, activity

Termination!

Back to start!

Do you remember playing board games when you're a kid? I was carzy about those. My friends and I always play board games like the game of life, monopoly, millionaires game, snakes and ladders and all board games from Disney. In all of those games there's always a box that says "Go Back To Start". Once your "pamato" goes there, there's nothing you can do but go to the start.

Growing up is like playing board games. There are times you loose and there are times you win. Don't forget that there are times you are asked and sometimes forced to go back to start.

We are the ones rolling our own dice. Minsan pabor ang number na lumalabas and we're snuddenly going to the right direction. But there's a time when it doesn't go our way. Do you think destiny can be compared to rolling a dice? Or the number that comes out once it's rolled and stopped? For me yes.

We can control our destiny. There are moments when everythings going our way because of the choices that we made. Those choices made peoples lives happy and full of purpose. Sa buhay ko, nung bata ako ganyan ako pero nung lumaki na ako, hindi na.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit? Nawalan na lang ako ng drive to be successful. It's like every decision that I made in my life turn out to be worst decision of them all.

Now, I'm trying to stop making decisions first. Put everything on hold and compose myself. I think this is the best thing for me. Tigilan ko muna ang kakaisip at kakakilos.

Di naman sa tinatamad ako or anything. I spent 2 year of making bad decisions. I will allow myself a couple of weeks to regroup. Think things through. There's so many things going on in my life that I forget what my priorities really are.

It's time na mag-isip ako. Hangga't may oras pa. Sana naman e may ma-pala ako sa pahingang ito. Para naman gumanda na ang lumabas na number once it's my turn to roll the dice again. I don't want to go back to start again.

New Work!

I just started with my new work two weeks ago! I'm now a part time technical customer care representative. It's new and I'm not sure if I'll be able to pull it off. I found new friends and promised old friends from my old work not to forget about them. I will and I do promise you guys that I'll never forget you guys!

I miss my old colleagues. I regret leaving and wasting all opportunities given to me. But there's nothing I can do now and I realized it very well.

Looking At The Bright Side...

I'll be able to look for a school to continue my studies. It makes me excited just thinking about it!

I'm still getting myself ready for this new chapter in my life. Hope everything goes well. Nothing can stop me now, especially those k*re*n idiots that busted me out of my second job.

I'll move on!

Year of the Earth Ox

It doesn't start on January 1st but it will start on January 26, 2009. If I'm going to use the chinese calendar, I'm still on the year of the rat which I think made me fortunate. I can say that I ended the Chinese New Year with a bang and started it full of hope.

Kung Hei Fat CHoi guys!

Disastrous 2008

I never thought 2008 will end in a disastrous way. I though being born in the year of the rat will be lucky for me since 2008 is the year of the rat as well. But no!

I went to a friend's baby's baptism in Lucena, Quezon Province one Sunday. I have to go home the same day because I have work the next day. I promised my team leader not to miss work since i already have 2 suspensions at my back. I'm supposed to ride in a van to the bus terminal. We just left the house when we had problems with the van. I just stopped. The driver can't stop the van. So we have to push it in order for it to jump start. Nothing happened that's why we have to push the van all the way to the house which is 2 blocks away. This experience made me feel not well.

I just hailed a jeep going to the terminal. rode a bus and went to Manila, which is a 3 hour trip.

I arrived home at midnight. A friend is asking me if could join them at Ortigas. But I told him I won't be able to join them because I have work the next day. There was a part of me that don't want to go to work but I wanted to because I'll be in trouble if i dind't. Morning came, "Bebe" is trying to wake me up. I appreciate my "Bebe" for doing this. But I didn't wake up. When I woke up, I realized, it is already 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

OMG! I'm absent and I didn't even inform my TL. I'm in trouble. I sent a text message to my team leader and I apologized and told her that I didn't mean it. Maybe I just got too tired, but really I was too lazy to get up and go to work.

I thought that day if I joined my friends in Ortigas, I wouldn't be absent and for sure I still have my job with 24/7.

With all the things that is happening in my life, I have to celebrate Christmas right? Since I still have four thousand pesos in my savings account, I withdrew everything and almost closed my account. I left fifty pesos in it.

I bought a cake, gifts for my nephews and nieces and also for my god sons. All of those purchases left me only one thousand to spare. The clock struck midnight and my mom was singing her heart out using the DVD I bought for only one hundred fifty pesos.

The days after Christmas go by and it was hard. No gimmick, no money and no hope.

The clock struck midnight which marked a new year! it's already 2009. My mom still sings her favorite song and mine of course. I was thinking what is in stored for me this yeat!

I hope nothing disastrous. I hope god will give me challenges that I can overcome. This year, I'll overcome everything and change the routine. No more laziness, no more sickness and no more "Oos". I'll just go and take life by the balls! Balls is what I love and that what I'm gonna do this year!

Yuletide Bang

It's december! OMG time flies when you're... nah! I'm having so much fun! Wait! Where's my phone? oh no! That's ok, I bought a new one! Thanks to my 13th month pay! P2470223...9! Wow! that's me! I won a gift certificate! Thing can't get any better!

I started the month staying home when everyone was gone for the weekend. My "bebe" went to lucena to celebrate his mom's birthday! I stayed home to make "bantay" bantay. get it? hahaha! Since he doesn't want to bring his car because it might over heat, I might as well baby sit for him.

Then the enxt weekend came! After the long hours of searching for the perfect outfit, all 7 out of 8 of us went to the Dance Party. it's our annual christmas party! The Manila Hotel tent was huge and very nice. It was too cold though, can't belive na ang laki na nga ng venue pero malamig pa rin. It'sa good thing na nag-doble ako ng damit!

A company christmas party isn't complete without prizes. And I laft the venue with one! yippee! I was one of those who won first! I won an overnight stay for two at the Manila Peninsula! hahaha! I thought i'm the one who's going to win the trip to Macau! Nah! At least i got something!

Hope everything foes well! i started the year bad and hope I'll end the year with a bang!

I'm so not OK

Not going to work for 3 days after being suspended is not a good thing to do. I just didn't feel okay and I've been feeling sickly these days. the things that happened to me when I was with etelecare is happening all over again.

I;ve been trying so hard to change things. I've wanted to mix things a bit. Tried to do some new things and would like to start things fresh since I started with 24/7.

I don't want to leave because there are things that I wanted to do. Like enrolling back to college and finish a degree. I'd also would like to prove myself wrong. By writing it here, I guess, I'll be able to end this feeling that I have and move on.

I wanted to be my old self again. A happy-go-lucky person who loves what he's doing and is looking for more thing to have fun with. I'm not like that since I started working in a call center.

How can I pump myself again? If there's something to turn my old self on, I'd like to have that if not sooner. Nothing's cheering me up these days. Noone can boost my morale or even motivate me.

These days I have a "walang pakialam" attitude. I don't like it!

I'll write everything here and forget about what I felt once and for all. I will not read this again ever! I just wanted to publish this for you guys to know what's happening and for you to see if there's any changes from the time I'm done with this.

I have to make some drastic changes. Maybe a change of place, a change of attitude, a change of priorities and a change of routine.

Change of place - i'll stay with my mom for quite some time.

CHange of attitude - I'll look forward in going to work everyday and enjoy every minute of it

Chang of Priorities - I won't change much but I guess I'll have to add something. Family, Lovelife and utilities will be a priority. Going back to school will be a new priority. It's been a priority of mine but i must have forgotten it. But now, I won't and will go back to school next school year.

Change of routine - I won't go clubbing often. I'll go out if I there's an occasion or catching up with close friends. I'll go straight home after work and relax (not stress) and be ready for the next day. I'll make sure that I'm up 2 hours before going to work so that I have time to bathe and commute to work. My friend and i talked about this and we promised not to ride a taxi going to work.

I opened up a saving account and I have to fill it up with money. Just fill it up!

I'll fill myself with hapiness. It's the best medicine right?

Suspension Day(s)

How would u spend your suspension? Is it just like any other days when you're not at work? Should i sit back, relax and let the days go by?

i started the week by going to work at 5:30 am, my shift starts at 6:30. Logged in on avaya and took calls, just like any other working days. I received 2 100% VOC scores, whew! I got a perfect Q.A. score (1 out of 2). Lastly, was out of the phone for about 2 hours (not including lunch and 15 minute breaks).

I ended the working day by drinking coffee at starbucks with my officemates. I didn't get one but was able to get a sticker for my planner (thanks larmi!)! I went home to my mom's house to pay her a visit and of course to buy groceries for the rest of the week. i only hope it will last until pay day.

Tuesday came and there's nothing to do. I accompanied my 4 year-old nephew to school and then went to Shoemart to by groceries and drank, again, starbucks. It was my fourth sticker by the way. Played dance maniax and stayed until 5 pm because it was raining outside and I don't want to be sick and all.

i went to my bebe's house that same day to spend time with him because I'm leaving for Batangas the next day after meeting up with friends.

Wednesday came... Did i say it was my second suspension day? The reason why I got suspended for three days was when I didn't report to work on a critical workday. Our company sets critical workdays for us, employees, not to miss work at least 3 times a week. Mondays, Fridays, Saturdays and Pay days are considered critical workdays. You are not allowed to be absent on those days or else you'll get suspended. just like what happened to mwah!

I went to starbucks (again!) to meet up old friends of mine to catch things up. by the way, I got my fifth sticker. I only have 11 stickers left to fill. Hah! We talked about things that happened in the past. Planned an out of town shindig (heheh!). Updated ourselves on the juiciest gossip at work and many more. We also went to Dencio's to drink a couple of SML. I had a blast. It felt like I didn;t resigned and it felt like the old days. haaaah! Ah well!

Mohn and I, in our most challenging role as Taong Bayan !, went to Gateway Mall after. he thought we're watching a movie but i just wanted to roam around and do nothing. I didn't have money kasi. I don't want to withdraw another sum from my savings account. Which I did on tuesday, I withdrew 1,400 pesos. I'll return it promise!

After eating at what they call a foodcourt in Ali Mall ( it really doesn't look llike one, I'm sorry!) I went straght home and packed. I'm sad because I didn't get the chance to do a proper goodbye to my bebe. I'll miss him while I'm in Batangas. i arrived here at around 6-ish.

I'm staying at my sister's house. I stay here if I want to escape the city life. I'll stay here 'til Saturday and go to a friend's birthday at Palawan 2 in Cubao.

So that's how I spend and will spend my suspension. I'm suspended from tuesday until thursdays and I have a paid leave on friday. Let me know if what I did is good or should I spend it differently. So far I'm enjoying every minute of it and hope nothings wasted.

Savings!

I've been working for about 3 years and this is the only time that I was able to open my very own savings account! Hooray! My "Bebe" have been telling me dozens of times to open a bank account. I had enough money before. Why didn't I do it before? Did I listen? Do I ever listen to anyone or even to myself?

The last time I did something that will benefit me in the future was? Wait! Did I hear something? What? Is anyone there? Oh! Nothing! What? Nothing! Hmmm!

I asked myself, Why now? Well, this is the only time that I had a chance to open a savings account. Do you consider this an excuse? For me, it's a semi-excuse. I don’t know!

They are times when we do something and we say, I should’ve done this before. And then this came to my mind, I wonder how much money I was able to save if I did this before.Arrrgh!

Well, there’s nothing I can do now. It’s good that I started it than not starting saving up a little at all. Every centavo counts.

We should be saving money for rainy days. Who knows, we might need a huge sum of money in the future just like what happened to me before! Yikes!

Save up you guys! Start it today! Don't spend too much on things that you don't need. Try buying things that will last long. As they say, one time big time is good. Before thinking of splurging, ask yourself first which things are worth splurging on.

Think about it?

I didn't mean it...really!

I didn't mean to make you cry! I just wrote it out of anger, maybe. I was really bothered and hated what I felt which made me write it. I was just a little stupid writing it on my blog. I should have kept it to myself.

But you know, I felt good after I wrote it. But it didn't feel nice when you said what you felt. I really didn't mean to make you feel bad. I felt the need na ilabas lang ang nararamdaman ko. Hope you understand. I know you do!

It's good that we were able to patch things up and moved on. Now you know the real me, I hope nothing will change. I'm still the person you know back in college.

I'm gonna be here for yah no matter what. I'm just an sms or a call away ok!

I'm really sorry!