Well, what can i say! I'm so tired of explaining why i quit my job and why I applied again and ended up on the same type of work, again!
Sh#* happens and what frustrates me more is there's nothing that I can do about it. I'm just saying this because i keep on planning and planning and I can't seem to make things happen for myself. Look for a job that I can be at my best. Look for a school and finish college. I've done all that! I'm tired! But, is that it? I can be tired! i can give up now!
I'm trying to give signs to my family that i'm kinda desperate and needed their help. But they don't seem to read between the lines and dedmalyn dunka lang ang emote. That leaves me no other choice but to work my a$$ off and study... all at the same time.
Just thinking about it makes me sick and I'm scared if I can pull it off or not. I tried to do that b ut to no avail... I failed. I worked a as academic tutor to koreans while taking some units in college. i was able to do it for 1 whole year. The schedules went crazy and I wasn't able to get my summary of grades and without it, they won't let me enroll (bwisit na registrar ng PUP-taguig). I decided not to enroll for that semester and will file for a leave of absence.
A month later, I applied for a job in a call center and started working with them right away. Which gave me no time to file my leave of absence. After a year, i came back to my school and asked if they will still accept me eventhough I didn't have a leave of absence. "Sorry, you can't come back. The curriculum has changed and we won't let you enroll again." the registrar said. "Is there anyway that I can enroll, perhaps I can just shift to Accountancy or something. Please?" I said teary eyes to make the scene more beautiful and dramatic. 'Sorry, there's nothing we can do. The only thing you can do if file for a Honorable dismissal." she said. "ok! (hikbi)"
I felt so helpless that day. To think that I only have at least a year to finish my course but still they didn't even have me reconsidered! b>%$#^^t!
I filed for an Honorable dismissal a few months after. When that particular task was done, the next thing that I have to do is to look for a school that will accept a student like me. If you see my transcript, wow! It's so colorful. All possible grades that you can get as a college student... I have it. incomplete, 5.0, 1.0, DR, no grade, 5.0 na naging 3.0... you name it, I have it all!
Of couse, If I'm planning to go back to school but there's no one who can help me. I have to look for a job to pay for my tuition and everythig. Sana lang, kahit man lang tulungan nila akong mag-umpisa and I will do the rest. Iniisip ko lang ito para mabuhayan ako ng loob. Ok ba na mind-set ito?
The options that I have so far is to try and apply in PNU and take up BS Mathematics or in UP open university and take up Associate in Arts for starters. For PNU, the only problems that I will encounter, maybe, is the schedule of my classes. My work will be in the morning since I'll be handling an Australian account. With UPOU, First, I have to make sure that I'll pass the entrance exam (I failed UPCAT kasi eh!) and then saka ko na proproblemahin ung internet access.
For me to start applying to those schools, I need andaloo... and where can I get that......? Syempre... From my new job you idiot!
After 3 companies, 1 good and 2 bad, I ended up umemployed. Wanting to make changes and start anew. I was thinking of becoming a Barista or work in a fastfood resto to pay for my schooling. the money that I will make won't be enough kaya b alik call center na lang ako ulit. Sheesh!
Kaya e2, balik call center na naman ako. Same old s#!t. Same old, same old. I have to find ways to motivate myself and also I have to learn how to speak up and tell myself what I need, what I want and also I have to teach myself to remind me what are the things that needs to be done.
By starting with my new work, with my fingers crossed, I hope that this will serve as a go-signal, my green light, to start my plans and also be a stepping stone to make my dreams come true... to finish college!
