January – We were still in the hospital, mom still not ok. We were being asked of we would still like her to stay in the hospital or let her go home. We decided to stay and continue with the medicine. January 15, I woke up at 4am. Was checking for mom’s heartbeat… it was still there. 7am, when I was about to buy her medicines, checked it again, it was gone. Woke up my sister, called the nurses and then it hit me. It was really happening. I called my sisters, aunts and uncle. They came and she was gone. 4 years of battle, lost. Mom was resting in peace finally. We mourned, she was cremated. I cried and got lonely.
February – went back to work, still missing my mom. I was pressured to pass my scorecard, which I did. Sold some, always present and was a very good employee. We brought mom’s ashes to Batangas where she’ll be resting. I’m still missing her even though it was already past 40 days and my bebe because he way away for almost a year.
March – was a very hard month for me. I was absent, wasn’t selling that good, I’m about to reach my 1st year in the company and the past year wasn’t good. I’m thinking if I’m still worth keeping there. If I should continue, if there’s still a chance for me to do good. I got and was still depressed. I got sick by the end of the month and everything went down from there.
I still want to continue, most of them told me. I want support, I want guidance. I have to save money, stop spending. I want to start going back to shape. I still want so many things but I’m not doing anything.
I want to learn how not to pressure myself. Take things easy. How could I? How will I do it? I’m sad, lonely and sick.
Lord Please Help me!
