Thursday, November 20, 2008

I'm so not OK

Not going to work for 3 days after being suspended is not a good thing to do. I just didn't feel okay and I've been feeling sickly these days. the things that happened to me when I was with etelecare is happening all over again.

I;ve been trying so hard to change things. I've wanted to mix things a bit. Tried to do some new things and would like to start things fresh since I started with 24/7.

I don't want to leave because there are things that I wanted to do. Like enrolling back to college and finish a degree. I'd also would like to prove myself wrong. By writing it here, I guess, I'll be able to end this feeling that I have and move on.

I wanted to be my old self again. A happy-go-lucky person who loves what he's doing and is looking for more thing to have fun with. I'm not like that since I started working in a call center.

How can I pump myself again? If there's something to turn my old self on, I'd like to have that if not sooner. Nothing's cheering me up these days. Noone can boost my morale or even motivate me.

These days I have a "walang pakialam" attitude. I don't like it!

I'll write everything here and forget about what I felt once and for all. I will not read this again ever! I just wanted to publish this for you guys to know what's happening and for you to see if there's any changes from the time I'm done with this.

I have to make some drastic changes. Maybe a change of place, a change of attitude, a change of priorities and a change of routine.

Change of place - i'll stay with my mom for quite some time.

CHange of attitude - I'll look forward in going to work everyday and enjoy every minute of it

Chang of Priorities - I won't change much but I guess I'll have to add something. Family, Lovelife and utilities will be a priority. Going back to school will be a new priority. It's been a priority of mine but i must have forgotten it. But now, I won't and will go back to school next school year.

Change of routine - I won't go clubbing often. I'll go out if I there's an occasion or catching up with close friends. I'll go straight home after work and relax (not stress) and be ready for the next day. I'll make sure that I'm up 2 hours before going to work so that I have time to bathe and commute to work. My friend and i talked about this and we promised not to ride a taxi going to work.

I opened up a saving account and I have to fill it up with money. Just fill it up!

I'll fill myself with hapiness. It's the best medicine right?

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