What's on my mind right now

I've been trying to keep things to myself these days. I can't keep it to myself any longer. Just enjoy reading this!

First, I'm sick of feeling tired of working. When will it sink in that I have to do this not only for myself but for other people (e.g. Bebe, Mom, sisters). I've worked with other companies in the past and it seems like I haven't learned my lesson yet. I'm tired of asking, when will I learn?

With work, I've always been inconsistent. For a short span of time, I'm really motivated but most of the time, i'm at my lowest. I don't know what's happening. What's worse is that my work is being affected by it. I wanted to make it work and I have to figure out what's stopping me from doing it.

Having a job theses days means only one thing, to earn money to survive. I want to formulate even more "reasonable" why's. Why am I doing this...

I wanted to feel good when I help somebody financially. What I earn is a blessing. It has to be shared. However there's one thing. I hope they'll learn to think for themselves so that they can feel a sense of accomplishment of providing what needs to be provided, not just by asking for favors. I also have to learn this. I admit!