Blogger's Block!

I've been trying to write about something for two hours and I can't seem to find the right thing to write. Is this what you call blogger's block? Are bloggers even use this phrase when thay have nothing to think of writing about?

When thinking about writing something in our blogs, is everything and anything under the sun is appropriate? Do we have to tell everyone what's going on with our lives? Should we be scared that someone might use it against us?

If you don't really think of these while writing something, the only thing that i can say is bemore careful. As for me, i don't know what to do. There are times that you really want to post it through your blog and let everybody know it. DO we really have to know when to stop and when not to post it?

Is fear finally getting over me that makes me not having anything to write about? hmmm.

At least there's something I can think about now. Maybe in a couple of hours i can write about something that won't make me worry about such nonsense.

At Last! Baguio!

If you're going to ask any Filipino in the world what is the summer capital of the Philippines, they will answer only one place. They'll answer Baguio. The last time that i went there was when i was 7 or 8 years old. I was with my uncle. I never thought that I'll be able to go back there again. I was with three friends and my Bebe of course.

They planned the trip for only two days. Dave, James and Bebe planned it. I thought it's not going to push through but last July 25 at 9pm we rode a bus (Victory Liner) going to Baguio. At first a wasn't that excited because I was thinking that I have no money for the trip an



d nakakahiya naman kay Bebe because he's the one who's going to pay for the whole trip.

Couple of days before we left, i kept on telling him that I don't want to go because I don't want him to pay for our expenses. But when he told me na bumawi na lang ako next time. i said Yes, I'll go with him. I was also thinking that since for the past weeks, I've been thinking about my sickness and I needed a break from all of that.

We arrived in Baguio at about 3;30 am, six hours from the time we left Manila. We checked in a the Tulip Inn, a stones throw away from the Victory Bus line terminal and we're at the back of Camp John hay. We paid for the room for only P1700 plus P200 for the extra matress (I think) for an overnight stay. We stayed there for two days, you do the math.

Throughout our stay, we rode taxi's while going around the city. It's good na walang nagongontrata na taxi at htey can take you wherever you want to go. Puro FX and taxi dun. Galing di ba?

I wan't able to sleep I guess because of excitement. I was thinking about the places we're going and the things that we're going to do for the rest of our stay. It's been more than a decade since I first went there and I am wondering if Baguio change during the time I last went there.

That morning we got up, took some pictures and got ready for the day ahead. The first place we went to was the famous Session Road. It's a downhill road that has lot's of places that served an array of foods. You can choose from Chinese, Italian and Filipino dishes. Of course we chose a Filipino-Chinese restaurant. It served an eat-all-you can brunch. You have to get a bowl and put anything and everything you can from veggies to pork, chicken, beef and also to top it all of, you can also put different kinds of sauce. It's like you're making your own rice bowl. Once you made your own bowl, they'll fry it and serve it to you hot just like you wanted.

After eating we went to SM Baguio. I heard that the SM here didn't have air conditioning and they are right. SM Baguio is the coldest mall the I've ever been to and wow it's really doesn't have any air conditioning. We went there because James, who works for Oxygen, has to check the shop. Dave bought an Ipod charger because he doesn't have that and we didn't bring our laptop.

the next destination was the Minesview park. We rode a taxi going there and along the way we say the summer house of the president that look like the Malacanang Palace. We also saw the park where they can ride horses (I'm sorry I forgot the name of the park). When arrived there we immediately went to the bangin. We took pictures and I was wowed by the view. Mines view park didn't even changed throughout the years. There's so many tourists also that are doing what tourists do best, kodakan.

After appreciating the beautiful view Minesview has to offer we went bargain and souvenir shopping. I bought an ashtray with a penis carving (P65) for my mom ( as a joke), Bebe bought a rosary (P50) for his mom, Dave bought rosary bracelets, James bought key chains (P10 each) and Julius bought 9 shirts (P100 each).

We also went to the market to check for the prices of other pasalubongs that we can buy like ube halaya (3 for P100), lengua de gato (3 for P100), strawberry jam (P90), walis tambo (3 for p100) and of course strawberries (P100).

We also went to Burnham Park. You csn go boating there, eat mais ( ver huge corn), picture taking and ride a bike. We only took pictures there. Before the trip my bebe told me not to smoke ciggies because I'm sick and all, but when we went to the park, the wind is blowing hard and I't very cold (at 4pm) and there's nothing I could do but to smoke. Of course I got guilty because I really wanted to stop smoking for faster recovery.

After prancing around the park, we went home, slept and at 10 pm we went out to have dinner. There's a place there called Nevada Square. Kapitbahay lang namin un and it's one of the gimik spots in Baguio. It's a compound that has about 10 Bars in it. you can choose from an acoustic bar, hiphop, trance and dining. We ate at Beach house (one of the bars). I ate lechon kawali and I was surprised to see a familiar face. One of the managers working there was working for a bar in Las Pinas called tito boys. That's where I used to hang out. She told me that the owners of tito boy also owns the place but the owners are not here. Bummer! I thought we'll be getting free food.

It was a very rainy evening and foggy too. I jus stayed indoors while the others are drinking their hearts out. I can't go to closed spaces with lots of people smoking and I can't drink alcoholic drinks as well. So I stayed in the room, listened to James' Ipod. I listened to Avenue Q, which was hilarious, before going to sleep.

After drinking my friends and bebe went to yello cab for a midnight snack. They told me my bebe got dizzy and almost fainted. I didn't know what to do when they told me that. i hope nothing's wrong with my bebe.

We woke up late the next day. We're supposed to check out at 2 but we're still not ready to go out at 11 am. We still have to eat lunch and go to the market to buy pasalubong. We left the inn and ate lunch. it's really rainy and we heard that there's a typhoon and it's signal number one there. It was too foggy out and you'll think if you're still in the Philippines because it's rare that you'll see such thick fog here in our country.

So after eating and buying pasalubong, we went to the inn and packed out bags and went to the terminal. We left Baguio at about 3 pm and arrived here in Manila at 9 in the evening.

It was one of the best vacations that i had in years and I will definitely go back there within this year.

Sickly

Why is it when you wanted to do things right, something really bad happens. Take mine for instance, I’ve been trying not to miss work but I ended up not going to work because I have no voice. I can’t work without my voice since I’m working in a call center there’s nothing I can do there without it!

When I first got my check up, the doctor said its pharyngitis. But when I go to another doctor, he said I have swollen vocal chords. He prescribed medicines that are expensive. I don’t even have enough money to buy those.

I only have 4oo pesos in my pocket and I need to buy meds good for one week. I’ve sent SMS’ to each and every person that can help me but a couple replied saying they don’t have enough money. That is very understandable.

It’s not that I’m complaining but why is this happening when I’m not ready. Many people say bad things come or challenges come when you least expect it. I expected something is coming but I never thought it could be this bad.

I went back to my doctor and he asked me to have LVES done. I didn’t know what it stands for but I’ll look it up on the Internet next time. It’s a procedure called endoscopy wherein they’ll put in a pipe in your throat with a video camera in it and it’ll take in shots of your throat and vocal chords as it goes through your mouth and throat.

I had it scheduled the next day and went back on Monday (July 21^st). It was scheduled at 11 am and I arrived at 11:15. Good thing I have mf good friend Mohn to cheer me up. I really got stressed because of the traffic that day.

The very handsome Doctor whose last name is Enriquez did the procedure. While he’s putting the pipe in, I almost puked, good thing I haven’t had lunch yet. So what he did is instead of a pipe (which is made of metal by the way) he got a smaller and longer one and is like a tube that he can put inside my nose and make it down all the to my to my vocal chords to get a shot of it.

I went back the next day and got the results, I was with my mom. My mom was very nervous about the whole thing. She’s even more nervous than I am. I think if she hadn’t got a hold of herself, she could’ve cried there. I can’t blame her, everything happened because of what I’m doing to myself.

When we got the result, they saw a Leukoplakia on my vocal chords. It’s a white patch that can be seen in the mouth, lips or throat. As per my “Bebe”, he searched for it on the Internet, it main cause is usually smoking. When my doctor saw the result, he told me I might have Tuberculosis and I have to consult with a Pulmunologist and have to undergo several tests. He told me that if we were able to rule out TB, the next thing that has to be done is a biopsy. In other words, I have to go under the knife.

After meeting up with Doctor Santos, I immediately went to Medicard so that they can refer me to a specialist. They referred me to Dr. Bacayana. He’s a nice doctor but not as good looking as the other two. Hah! When I had my first check-up with Doctor Nice, he told me go right ahead with the tests namely X-ray, Sputum and PPD.

At the present, I’m done with the x-ray, I’ve submitted my third and final sputum sample and my PPD result just got in. I’m negative for TB based on my X-ray nad the first two sputum samples. But I got positive for my PPD. It’s kinda mixed up at this point but I’m still hoping. Still have my fingers crossed at all of this.

The only thing that I have to do now is to wait for my last sputum result and then I have to meet up with Dr. nice and see what he has to say.

Kolehiyala

Do I ever have to explain everything about myself to you? Why should guys like me have to explain why I chose to live this kind of life? I don’t care of what you think and dsy about me. Just let me be and leave me alone.

All I wanted for you to do is accept the fact that I’m s fag and there’s nothing you can do to change that.

I hate it when someone says that they’re right about me as if I’ve been hiding or something. To tell you the truth, I’m no hiding anything from you. I’ve been like this since I learned how o play my sister’s Barbie doll. I’ve been like this since I started watching the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant with my mom and sisters. I’ve been like this since I imitate models to the tune of rhythm of the night.

You don’t know me that well. I don’t see you as a long time friend that’s why I didn’t tell you straight forward about the real me. We have different tastes. I’m a different person from the day we first met. I bet when you see me now, you’ll ask yourself, is he the Vincent that I met in college?

My college life was a bit of a drama. That was the time that I’m looking for who I really was. I tried to set things straight and tried to be somebody that I’m not. I didn’t have fond memories of college.

When I was a freshman, I’m one of the straight A students who got a full scholarship grant from a company. I passed my subjects with flying colors. During that time, I met 7 very good friends that made my first year of college unforgettable. During my sophomore year, I had a girlfriend, had my first failing grade, joined our school publication and went to Mendiola for a rally. During that year, my failures as a college student started: not only in my grades but also in life.

June came and I was a junior. More failing grades came. I was behind my classmates in terms of subjects that we have to take. Though I was one of the few who got qualified for the course but still it showed that I didn’t deserve to be there. My father also died that year. This particular event in my life triggered my gayness to sprout. I met guys through MIRC. I had casual sex with the same sex and also dated some of them.

During that year, I experienced things that I didn’t experience before. I met a group of people same as me. Went to “sex parties” and I also went partying in Malate all by myself.

My senior year came. I decided to work part-time as an academic tutor to Korean students. In which it didn’t go well. I skipped classes. I wasn’t able to attend early morning classes because I’m so tired to get up early in the morning. I failed lots of my subjects that year. It made me depressed just thinking about it.

This year, I met my “Bebe” in a bar in malate. Who would’ve though that meeting someone in a bar would end up in a three year relationship? At least sa lovelife ok.

I was really stressed that year because I was thinking that I might not able to finish my studies, which I didn’t.

It was my fifth year as a mechanical engineering student; things didn’t go out as planned. I only attended half the school year. When I was about to enroll, they didn’t let me because I don’t have a copy of my grades. So, what I did is I looked for a job and got accepted in a call center, the job that I still do at the present.

Wala naming masama kung maging bading ako di ba? Kung sa pagiging bakla, wala akong ginawang masama pero pagdating sa pag-aaral ko, doon ako may problema. Until now, I still can’t figure out why I did those things in the past. I was really clumsy and didn’t think before I do something. I’ve taken things for granted. I was in rush of being a grown up. Nowadays, I try to change things. I make sure that I don’t make the same mistakes again. Tama ba itong way of thinking?

For the next year, I’m not going to let myself end up ruining myself for not finishing my studies. I will make sure that I’ll be accepted in the UPOU. I’ll do whatever it takes. I shouldn’t be afraid of taking risks. Why am I working my ass of every single day?

I should do something as early as now. After writing this blog, a goal must be set. Ako lang ang makakatulong sa sarili ko. Wala nang iba.

Still No Voice!

Haaaay! This is very frustrating. I was happy when I went back to work last friday (July 3,8008). I thought it would be a star of something new. I was focused on not repeating the things that i did wrong the past year. But then came Monday and then Tuesday. I was smoking outside the office. That was my morning ritual before going to work. I saw Meg, she ordered take out at McDonald's. We were trying to catch up on the juiciest gossip and some other stuff when I felt that there's no voice coming out of my mouth, again!

I spoke to my team leader. I told her that somethings wrong with my voice. She told me not to speak for the mean time. Right after logging in, we had our 30 minute meeting. We spoke about product stuff and thing we shouldn't forget while taking in calls.

After the meeting, it's time to take calls. I was really nervous because I can't speak clearly. I just thought that I have to cleas my throat and everything's gonne be fine. The call came and man! It was really terrible. I was hoarse and the person that i'm speaking with noticed it. I was really embarrassed.

He just told me to take care of myself and he's going to pray for me. thanks a lot sir!

While I was on my aftercall work mode, I approached my tl and told her that the customer couldn't understand what I was saying and I am having a hard time speaking. I knew that things that I'm supposed to say but I can't say it.

What I did is I asked her if i could go to the nurse's station and have my throat checked. While I was there i told the nurse what happened. I told her I had a fever and I was able to have it checked with a physician. He asked me to take some meds but i wasn't able to take the anti-biotic he prescribed because it was too expensive.

In our country, we don't have prescription benefits unlike in the states. The only things that are covered on our hmo is the medical stuff. Like professional fees, payment for diagnosis, tests and other medical stuff. But not the meds.

The nurse then asked me to go home and have a voice rest. Good thing my team leader was very mabait that she gave permission for me to go on leave for the day. Of course wih pay.

The search for the hospital and doctor started. I first went to USt hospital in Espana Manila. My experience there was ver horrible. I hope many people will be able to read this. After what happened to me, I felt i wanted to send an email to the president or officer in charge of the company.

I asked the security guard where do patients supposed to go. Since it was my first time to go there, I have to ask. He said why ami I going there. Didn't I just tell him that I'm a patient! He even asked me to lead an identification card before he'd let me in. I left my SSS I.D.. I went in and proceeded directly to the information desk. I asked the receptionist where do medicard holders go, she told me the room but she said it's by appointment only. She didn't even asked me why I'm going there without an appointment and if it was urgent or something. She just locked me out and didn't even give any other options. So i left.

The next hospital that I go to was Cardinal Santos Medical Center. There's no docotor available until 10am the next day. Huuhuhuhu!

As a last resort, I went to the Medical City. Luckily there's a hot doctor available until 5pm. I was able to have it checked with an Ear Nose throat doctor. He check my throat through endoscopy and he found out that i have acute laryngitis and my vocal chord is swollen. He suggested for me not to smoke, eat too much and avoid caffeinated drinks. Too bad! He prescribed expensive medicines and there's nothing that I can do about it.

It's really true that the only time that you're doing thing right and that are healthy when you're already sick. Now i drink lots of H2O, eat on time, drink my medicines , eat right and smoke for some time ( I can't kick out of the habit i'm sorry). Is there a nicotine patch available here in the Philippines?

Hopefully after aweek, my voice will come back and I think since my birthday I coming up ( 5 days) I can't drink alcohol and party and smoke and puke and get drunk as planned! Bummer!

There's a dead rat in our bathroom!

Eeeew! I can't believe I'm writing a blog about this thing inside our bathroom! Hah! I'm not afraid of that! Are you? Why so many people are afraid of rats? Does it represent something that we don't want to think or speak of?

As for myself, di ako takot sa mga daga. "Daga" that's what we call rats here in the Philippines. There's so many of them here. Lurking around our room, kitchen, garage, name it it's there. it doesn't matter what's your status in society, they still have the so-called "Mabait" as a visitor from time to time.

2008 is the year of the rat. I'm year of the rat. We rat, as what they say, are very hardworking persons. Very intelligent, just like what it did in the ancient race that made the rat first in the chinese calendar. It won the race when it rode at another animals back just to cross the river. Hah! Very clever!

Nowadays, rats can't out play us. It's because of one thing... racumin. Ilagay mo lang sa gilid=gilid ng bahay, tepok si daga! Poor mice, so cute and cuddly. Because of just one blue capsule or something, it will digest the blue thing to it's death.

Before i end this blog, one question... Paano ko aalisin ang daga sa banyo namin? In english, how will be able to remove that stinking rat out of our bathrom? Ayayay!

No Voice!

How can be a call center agent if I have no voice?

Yeah, you heard me right, after two weeks of coughing, I woke up one morning without any voice. Di man lang ako makakanta! Kasi naman nagyoyosi pa ako eh! My "Bebe" kept on telling me not to smoke anymore but there are times that i don't listen.

I went to the doctor last Monday (01-07-2008) to check what's going on. He found out that I have pharyngitis. I though that it was something really serious but it turns out that it's another term for "sore throat."

When I knew what was going on, I had mixed emotions. There's a side of me wanting to have something worse than this. But there's another side that tells me that i should get better so i can go back to work.

Huhuhuhu! I hate. The only thing that I'm doing right now is to drink my meds and smoke from time to time. Hahahahah!

Hopefully I can go back o work and I have to be in my best shape because my birthday is coming up. Yehey!

No more free lunch

After all the hard work, after all the calls I’ve taken, it all comes down to not getting the free lunch!

In order for our team not to incur any more compliance zeroes, she made a reward for those who will get a perfect compliance score. She’ll treat them a free lunch.

Three weeks have passed since the start of June; there were only two agents who have a perfect compliance score. That’s me and j-ze.

I was really close of getting that free lunch until my fourth compliance rating came today. I got my first zero ever. I only forgot the payment processing fee for making credit card payments.

It was an honest mistake and at least it’s not a very grave error unlike missing id checking or no taking down notes. At least!

I’ll make sure that next time, I will not forget even the smallest details! I hope I’ll get the free lunch next month! As a birthday gift!

A Week of Firsts!

Wow! What a week it was! There are a lot of things that happened. I don’t know where to start. The week started on a Saturday night (June 14) party. It was our friend Dong’s birthday. It was his 38^th birthday and he still looked fabulously young. I want to know what his secret is.

We had beers and good food to eat. His boyfriend Rommel made it for him. How sweet! By the way, they’ve been together for about ten years. Back to alcoholic beverages, I was able to drink about 7 bottles and had a few (don’t know how many is few to you) rum shots with four seasons as a chaser. Because there’s nothing to drink, I have to drink more rum shots and after the shots, then came the problem. I got drunk!

I felt a little satisfied when I get drunk. It’s not like I get drunken everyday. But when you come to think of it, after a work week, all you think of is to have a good time and drink with your best buds.

And that’s what I did. Good thing I was with my “Bebe” to drive me home. I thought I wasn’t able to make it home. I was really dizzy and I threw up 4-5 times. Hehehe!

Next day came. I had the worst hang over ever and then I realized I promised my sister that I’ll be buying her sons school uniforms since school is almost starting. Then I scrambled, took a bath, got dressed then went straight to Divisoria, where else! It was the nearest to my place. It’s only a jeepney ride a way since I’ll be coming from Sampaloc.

So when I arrived there, I looked for the cheapest uniform being sold there. Then suddenly, jackpot! A polo jacket for only 65 pesos (Size 10) and for a small polo jacket it’s only 95 pesos! I didn’t think twice, I bought two pieces of each size. I also bought sandos to match the back-to-school outfit.

Of course I didn’t forget my own needs! Ha! I don’t want to leave there empty handed. I only got 200 pesos in my wallet. I’m thinking of what would be the item that is useful ad of course within my budget. After 30 minutes of walking in 168, I saw a watch for only 100 bucks. After two minutes, I left there with a happy face and I know what it is.

After eating lunch in Recto, I went home and have Mcdo deliver fillet-o-fish for my “Bebe”.

I started my work week feeling rusty. I’m beginning to cough and started feeling cold all of a sudden. I though, Oh no not again! I’m beginning to feel things that I felt when I was with my previous companies. Not feeling well, didn’t want to go to work, want to stay home and sleep all day.

No! I won’t let this happened. I told my team leader that I came to work even though I’m not at my 100%. She said “‘good!” Now I’m back on track! I’m not gonne let it happen again. Then the next day came, and then at exactly 7 in the morning, my team leader’s phone rang. Somebody called in sick and won’t be able to go to work. Guess who!

Two days later, I went back to work. On that day, all I ever think of is how to get my stats up again. I don’t want to be at the bottom again! I have to regroup and stay focused. Hope the last days of June will be better. At that time, I also decided to go on overtime on Saturday. Just to make up for the two days that I was absent.

Friday came, my officemates were really excited because the work week is almost over. Weekend is just around the corner. For me, it’s another day to show them what I got, to erase my very first absence in my new company. That’s a first!

Before my Friday shift ends, my second to the last call was a little complicated. I had to call the account holder because the one that I’m peaking with was not authorized to have access on the account. For some, calling someone will make their average handling time longer. But for me, I need to help the lady out and I don’t want to have her call us again because it’ll be a waste of time for her and for the next agent who’ll accept the call once she calls back again.

So what I did, I called the a/c holder, added her as an authority and went on with the call. The whole call went well and at the end of it, she asked o speak with a supervisor to tell her how well I did with the call.

I was really surprised. I’ve never had a commendation since I started in this industry. And what good timing it is for me to have one. I thought, is this a sign. Am I really meant to stay with 24/7? Will I be able to achieve the promotion I always wanted?

Then I realized that If I’m going to continue what I’m doing then everything is possible. I’ll make sure that it will not the first, but it will be start of something good and better future for me.

All I have to do is to work it and see what outcome it brings. Things like that really mean something, am I right? Even though I started the week bad, with hard work and of course patient, it ended up well. Being commended by someone for doing a good job is very inspiring.

I hope I can continue doing what I’m doing, thinking the way I’m thinking and to feel what I’m feeling not only throughout my stay I this company but for the rest of my life.