Yuletide Bang

It's december! OMG time flies when you're... nah! I'm having so much fun! Wait! Where's my phone? oh no! That's ok, I bought a new one! Thanks to my 13th month pay! P2470223...9! Wow! that's me! I won a gift certificate! Thing can't get any better!

I started the month staying home when everyone was gone for the weekend. My "bebe" went to lucena to celebrate his mom's birthday! I stayed home to make "bantay" bantay. get it? hahaha! Since he doesn't want to bring his car because it might over heat, I might as well baby sit for him.

Then the enxt weekend came! After the long hours of searching for the perfect outfit, all 7 out of 8 of us went to the Dance Party. it's our annual christmas party! The Manila Hotel tent was huge and very nice. It was too cold though, can't belive na ang laki na nga ng venue pero malamig pa rin. It'sa good thing na nag-doble ako ng damit!

A company christmas party isn't complete without prizes. And I laft the venue with one! yippee! I was one of those who won first! I won an overnight stay for two at the Manila Peninsula! hahaha! I thought i'm the one who's going to win the trip to Macau! Nah! At least i got something!

Hope everything foes well! i started the year bad and hope I'll end the year with a bang!

I'm so not OK

Not going to work for 3 days after being suspended is not a good thing to do. I just didn't feel okay and I've been feeling sickly these days. the things that happened to me when I was with etelecare is happening all over again.

I;ve been trying so hard to change things. I've wanted to mix things a bit. Tried to do some new things and would like to start things fresh since I started with 24/7.

I don't want to leave because there are things that I wanted to do. Like enrolling back to college and finish a degree. I'd also would like to prove myself wrong. By writing it here, I guess, I'll be able to end this feeling that I have and move on.

I wanted to be my old self again. A happy-go-lucky person who loves what he's doing and is looking for more thing to have fun with. I'm not like that since I started working in a call center.

How can I pump myself again? If there's something to turn my old self on, I'd like to have that if not sooner. Nothing's cheering me up these days. Noone can boost my morale or even motivate me.

These days I have a "walang pakialam" attitude. I don't like it!

I'll write everything here and forget about what I felt once and for all. I will not read this again ever! I just wanted to publish this for you guys to know what's happening and for you to see if there's any changes from the time I'm done with this.

I have to make some drastic changes. Maybe a change of place, a change of attitude, a change of priorities and a change of routine.

Change of place - i'll stay with my mom for quite some time.

CHange of attitude - I'll look forward in going to work everyday and enjoy every minute of it

Chang of Priorities - I won't change much but I guess I'll have to add something. Family, Lovelife and utilities will be a priority. Going back to school will be a new priority. It's been a priority of mine but i must have forgotten it. But now, I won't and will go back to school next school year.

Change of routine - I won't go clubbing often. I'll go out if I there's an occasion or catching up with close friends. I'll go straight home after work and relax (not stress) and be ready for the next day. I'll make sure that I'm up 2 hours before going to work so that I have time to bathe and commute to work. My friend and i talked about this and we promised not to ride a taxi going to work.

I opened up a saving account and I have to fill it up with money. Just fill it up!

I'll fill myself with hapiness. It's the best medicine right?

Suspension Day(s)

How would u spend your suspension? Is it just like any other days when you're not at work? Should i sit back, relax and let the days go by?

i started the week by going to work at 5:30 am, my shift starts at 6:30. Logged in on avaya and took calls, just like any other working days. I received 2 100% VOC scores, whew! I got a perfect Q.A. score (1 out of 2). Lastly, was out of the phone for about 2 hours (not including lunch and 15 minute breaks).

I ended the working day by drinking coffee at starbucks with my officemates. I didn't get one but was able to get a sticker for my planner (thanks larmi!)! I went home to my mom's house to pay her a visit and of course to buy groceries for the rest of the week. i only hope it will last until pay day.

Tuesday came and there's nothing to do. I accompanied my 4 year-old nephew to school and then went to Shoemart to by groceries and drank, again, starbucks. It was my fourth sticker by the way. Played dance maniax and stayed until 5 pm because it was raining outside and I don't want to be sick and all.

i went to my bebe's house that same day to spend time with him because I'm leaving for Batangas the next day after meeting up with friends.

Wednesday came... Did i say it was my second suspension day? The reason why I got suspended for three days was when I didn't report to work on a critical workday. Our company sets critical workdays for us, employees, not to miss work at least 3 times a week. Mondays, Fridays, Saturdays and Pay days are considered critical workdays. You are not allowed to be absent on those days or else you'll get suspended. just like what happened to mwah!

I went to starbucks (again!) to meet up old friends of mine to catch things up. by the way, I got my fifth sticker. I only have 11 stickers left to fill. Hah! We talked about things that happened in the past. Planned an out of town shindig (heheh!). Updated ourselves on the juiciest gossip at work and many more. We also went to Dencio's to drink a couple of SML. I had a blast. It felt like I didn;t resigned and it felt like the old days. haaaah! Ah well!

Mohn and I, in our most challenging role as Taong Bayan !, went to Gateway Mall after. he thought we're watching a movie but i just wanted to roam around and do nothing. I didn't have money kasi. I don't want to withdraw another sum from my savings account. Which I did on tuesday, I withdrew 1,400 pesos. I'll return it promise!

After eating at what they call a foodcourt in Ali Mall ( it really doesn't look llike one, I'm sorry!) I went straght home and packed. I'm sad because I didn't get the chance to do a proper goodbye to my bebe. I'll miss him while I'm in Batangas. i arrived here at around 6-ish.

I'm staying at my sister's house. I stay here if I want to escape the city life. I'll stay here 'til Saturday and go to a friend's birthday at Palawan 2 in Cubao.

So that's how I spend and will spend my suspension. I'm suspended from tuesday until thursdays and I have a paid leave on friday. Let me know if what I did is good or should I spend it differently. So far I'm enjoying every minute of it and hope nothings wasted.

Savings!

I've been working for about 3 years and this is the only time that I was able to open my very own savings account! Hooray! My "Bebe" have been telling me dozens of times to open a bank account. I had enough money before. Why didn't I do it before? Did I listen? Do I ever listen to anyone or even to myself?

The last time I did something that will benefit me in the future was? Wait! Did I hear something? What? Is anyone there? Oh! Nothing! What? Nothing! Hmmm!

I asked myself, Why now? Well, this is the only time that I had a chance to open a savings account. Do you consider this an excuse? For me, it's a semi-excuse. I don’t know!

They are times when we do something and we say, I should’ve done this before. And then this came to my mind, I wonder how much money I was able to save if I did this before.Arrrgh!

Well, there’s nothing I can do now. It’s good that I started it than not starting saving up a little at all. Every centavo counts.

We should be saving money for rainy days. Who knows, we might need a huge sum of money in the future just like what happened to me before! Yikes!

Save up you guys! Start it today! Don't spend too much on things that you don't need. Try buying things that will last long. As they say, one time big time is good. Before thinking of splurging, ask yourself first which things are worth splurging on.

Think about it?

I didn't mean it...really!

I didn't mean to make you cry! I just wrote it out of anger, maybe. I was really bothered and hated what I felt which made me write it. I was just a little stupid writing it on my blog. I should have kept it to myself.

But you know, I felt good after I wrote it. But it didn't feel nice when you said what you felt. I really didn't mean to make you feel bad. I felt the need na ilabas lang ang nararamdaman ko. Hope you understand. I know you do!

It's good that we were able to patch things up and moved on. Now you know the real me, I hope nothing will change. I'm still the person you know back in college.

I'm gonna be here for yah no matter what. I'm just an sms or a call away ok!

I'm really sorry!

My Lakbayan Grade

I saw this link from a friend's blog. you'll find out if you've been around our country or not! Check this out!

My Lakbayan grade is C-!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

Hospitalization Realization

Whew! There are some things in life where you'll say "I'm glad that it's over". Many say that even though you avoid it, there'll always be some challenges that you'll encounter. You might end up in a life or death situation and there are times when you'll ask yourself, when will you be ready for that to happen to you. When will you be ready?

It's started 2 months ago. It's my fourth month in our company (call center) and we started taking in calls. If you're familiar with what we're doing in this kind of job, your voice is your bread and butter. One day, a call center agent's nightmare happened to me. I lost my voice.

I thought the hoarseness was caused by my cough w/c has been bothering me for a couple of weeks and I though a pulmunologist will be able to give me meds to take and everything will be back to normal. But it didn't. It got worse! I completely lost my voice and wasn't able to work.

Two weeks of paid leaves passed and still no voice. I decided to have it checked to an ENT (ear, nose and throat) doctor. My first doctor with medicard saw something and wented me do undergo laryngoscopy and have pictures taken inside my mouth and throat.

The day after my laryngoscopy, they saw white patches on my vocal chord and the doctor said that's the one that causes the hoarseness. I said ok and now what? Is it serious? He said that I might have laryngeal tuberculosis and he'll refer me to a pulmunologist. Which I did weeks ago.

I went to the lung doctor. He said that I have to have several tests like sputum test, x-ray and PPD to confirm if I have TB or not. I was negative for the sputum and x-ray but was positive for the PPD. They've measured the lump and it was 8mm. Which was at the border. So what the doctor did was he prescribed anti-TB meds. It was just for prophylaxis or in other words, preventive medication.

August came and I have to have a follow-up check up. But the thing is our company changed health cards and my doctors we're not accredited. I did what I have to, that is, to change doctors.

The pulmunologist that I had said he's not convinced that I have TB and he wanted me to go back to an ENT to have it checked, again. And so I did. The new ENT said that I might have the big-C or it might be in pre-cancerous stage and he wanted to have a biopsy to get a sample and have pathologists check it.

When he said I needed to be confined for a couple of days and I have to fis things with my health card to make sure if everything will be covered, the nightmare started.

We spoke to a representative from the health card (Fortune Care) and guaranteed a friend of mine that it's is covered and the maximum that they can cover for the room is P2000. By the way, the card's limit is P100,000. thinking that everything is ok, I went to the hospital (Medical City), checked in last August 27 since my opreation was set on August 28.

Everything came smoothly, the operation was a success and I didn't feel any pain nor side effects after. Many friends visited and my family was there (didn't happen before 'til now). At that time, I thought it was happening as I wanted it to but wait there's more!

A representative of the health card came to my room and told us that they're only covering P40,000 not P100,000. She told us the full limit is only for dreaded diseases and I was only just having a biopsy done. I was shocked but still prayed that everything will be covered.

Saturday came, the moment of truth! My mom and I (believe it!) went to the billing window and asked for the amount due so that I can be discharged. We got the bill and we only have to pay P45,000 but the P40,000 is covered by my health card. But no! That's what she thought, the woman from the cashier told us that the amount is already net of the health card. OMG!

My sister checked the statement of account again. Buti na lang she looked at it and we found out that the Philhealth was not yet deducted. So P7,000 was taken out of the amount and the only amt that remained was P38,000. Still OMG! Where am I gonna get that amount? Is there anyone who has that amount these days?

We asked them if there's any way that we could contact the doctor and tell them that we'll settle the professional fees to them personally. By the way the PFs were P25,000 for the ENT and P10,000 for the anesthesiologist! But the representative told us that there's no way and told us that we have to pay it or I'll stay in the hospital and they won't let us leave until we pay it off. Parang illegal confinement na yun di ba?

Out of the blue, my sister's husband sent a text message to my mom and said he can let us borrow the P30,000 since my bebe was able to borrow P10,000 from a couple of friends and some from his own pocket (Thanks Pics, John, Orly and ONY!!!).

But we can't stand paying that amount, P40,000 in cold cash, c'mon!

With Ony's perseverance and kakulitan, by calling the Customer service and biling department of the hospital, all of a sudden they "said" that they were able to contact the doctor and he gave permission for us to settle the PFs with them instead.

Ending, it was already Sunday afternoon and i was discharged and paid P5000 ( excess hospital bill and additional day for the room!).

A week has passed and I thought of sending an email to my doctor to see if we can get a discount. Instead he only told us we can pay the P35,000 when we have the money. So when I went there, I paid P15,000 for the ENT, P8,000 for the anesthesiologist and P2,500 for my pulmunologist. And the money that was left, I'm going to save it 'till I go back to work and once I have my pay check again, I'll pay them and the ones that I owed some money.

The result of the biopsy indicated that I don't have cancer and it hasn't even reached the pre-cancerous stage. the doctor prescribed anti-biotics and I only have to go back for a follow-up check up after three months to see how am I doing. He also suggested that I should stop smoking (which I'm doing badly, and drink less alcohol).

Throughout this ordeal I realized that we should always be ready for something like this to happen everyday. We should be emotionally, physically, mentally and financially ready for whatever that comes. I am gonna start saving money and not taking my health for granted. Sabi nga nila "nasa huli ang pagsisisi". Sige ka ikaw rin...

Memoir of My Havies

Goodbye my Blue 2 year old Havaianas! We've been through a lot, we went to different places and you were always there whenever I need you. Since you can never be used, I hope this memoir will bring back all the things we through together.

I bought it using my sister's credit card at Rustan's Makati for our Puerto Galera trip. I heard from people that it's very durable but a bit expensive. I told myself why not go for quality and i have to splurge a bit.

My havaianas was there when I went to Puerto Galera (twice), La Union, Batangas, Laguna, Subic, Baguio, and many places. I never thought that a flip flop would mean something in my life and as the strap broke one night, every memory came back and i just wanted to thank my slippers for coming with me whenever I go.

Thanks!

My Best Plan... or is it?

I wrote this on my Myspace blog just now. Just to give you a background, It's been 2 years since I wrote from my account and I thought I should give them an update on what are the thing that happened in my life.

Once you read this there's something I'd like o ask you in the end.

It's been a very very long time since I wrote a blog here. There's so many things that happened since 2006 (that's how long it is!).Many ups and downs but still was able to live life and just went on with what I have have to do everyday.

There were times that I feel very pressured. Pressured to finish my studies but i ended up not finishing college. I was taking up Mechanical Engineering and I was on my fifth and final year.

Eventhough I wasn't able to finish school, I was able to find a job. I became an academic tutor to Korean students who chose to study here in our country. It was a very fun experience. Learned so many things specially interacting with people of a different race and also it help me try to understand and appreciate other people with different cultures. This experience also taught me to be more patient towards others and just enjoy doing your work. I also realized that after all your hard work, you can buy anything you want with your hard earned money and of course, spending money wisely.

I quit the tutoring gig and chose to work for a call center. The call center industry in the country is fast growing. There's so many companies that kept poppoing out every month. During those years since I last wrote my blog here, I was able to work with 4 call centers. The longest time that I stayed with one of the companies was 1 year and 7 months, the shortest is 3 mos.

Currently, I am employed with 24/7. We accept calls australian landline customers. It's a day shift, not like most call centers here wherein they work mostly during the night. I've been working there since April this year.

I am on leave right now because of a sickness that my docotr is still observing. He is trying to see if I really have laryngeal tuberculosis. I've been on leave for almost a month. I'm kinda scared that I'll be enable to go back to work because of my sickness or if they'll still would like to to go back and work for them.

Today, I'll be going back to the office and will arrange come thing at work. I'll also be speaking with my supervisor about the status of my employment with the company.

Since I'm not going to work, I'm not gonna be expecting a salary for the next two pay outs. Good thing i was able to refer a friend and she already passed. I'll be expecting to get a 5000 peso worth of gift certificates that I can perhaps sell to my friends so that I can have money on hand.

There are times when I'm alone, when I think about the tings that happened in my life if it's a bad one or if it's normal. I've been trying to figure out how to set all things straight and for me to be back on track again. Just by thinking about those, stress comes in again.

What I'm thinking of doing is to just go with the flow and I'll just just to what comes to my mind first. I don't think that it's too late to turn things back to normal and I'll just do it at my own pace. Inot going to pressure myself to set thing straight away. Everythings going to happen when they happen. I'll just do whatever I can and maybe two years from now I'll just realize that I did it.

You know what, just by writing this blog, I've just made the best plan that i've ever had since 2006.

Here's the question:

Should I forget the things that I wrote on my last two blogs? Is this the best plan for me to achieve the thing that I want?

Please, if you happen to go to this site, I would really appreciate some answers.

Thanks!

Somewhere Provincial?

No I'm not referring to Palawan 2 in cubao! It's been a month since I went there... Anyways, I'm still here in Batangas City. trying to make myself in good shape again. The past few days have been a rollercoaster ride for me. Since I didn't have anything to do, some of the things that I didn't or avoid to think about came to my mind. somethings that still haunt me when there's nothing to think about.

If you were able to read my previous blog, you'll have an idea of what's been happening to me when I think about those things. Some of it are not finishing studies and pressuring myself to go back to school. Trying to figure out ways of on starting to go back to school.

When I watched The Tyra Show a couple of days ago, they were talking about the 7 deadly sins. There's this one part wherein there's this one girl who admitted that she's committing Gluttony. She's eating when she feels pressured. The priest who was there told her that she has to figure out what's bothering her. What make her feel pressured and the only thing that she has to do is to take it one step at a time.

Jordin Sparks may be right but there's this one thing, which comes first? The one that makes you pressured is the planning stage. Just thinking about the steps that you have to take to achieve a certain goal will just make you give up. Some say that by just thinking of an inspiration or something to motivate you will help you get the job done. But what if there's none? What if the ones that your thinking about isn't enough? Or will you be able to think of the will push you to success?

That also adds much pressure. Writing about this stresses me out. Is it good to just do it and not to think about anything else? Is it ok if i'll just go with the flow and let the rhythm take me? I'm thinking that since I know that there's gonna be an opportunity one after the other right?

There are time that I think that is planning adds stress to us? I know many people will disagress but I'm sorry, when I plan things, I feel like there's so many dead ends that I can come accross and makes me think thaat I'll just end miserable just like I am now.

Here's what I'm gonna do, I'll just do what I c an think of at the present and go for it! Just wait and see what will happen. Is that a plan? Did I just formulated a plan? Why the hell am I saying that I don't believe in making plans in the first place? or should I just look for the nearest shrink?

Bakasyonista

You've guessed it! I'm still out of work! My sister has been asking me to come over to their place in Batangas for several weeks and I only thought of coming over here. It's been 6 days since I arrived and the only thing I did here was to sleep and eat. There are times that I watch t.v. and help my neice with her lessons. What a very productive day it has been!

These past few days has been very stressful. It's physically but mentally. I've been thinking of things that I should do with my life. I've been thinking about how I should go back to school. I'm also thinking if I will be able to go back to work.

I'm tired of all the pressure. I just wanted to go on with my life without any more things to think about. I just wanted to live a smooth sailing life.

I'm a little tired of thinking of ways that I can overcome these challenges. I'm close to giving up. I'm close not to move on...

Blogger's Block!

I've been trying to write about something for two hours and I can't seem to find the right thing to write. Is this what you call blogger's block? Are bloggers even use this phrase when thay have nothing to think of writing about?

When thinking about writing something in our blogs, is everything and anything under the sun is appropriate? Do we have to tell everyone what's going on with our lives? Should we be scared that someone might use it against us?

If you don't really think of these while writing something, the only thing that i can say is bemore careful. As for me, i don't know what to do. There are times that you really want to post it through your blog and let everybody know it. DO we really have to know when to stop and when not to post it?

Is fear finally getting over me that makes me not having anything to write about? hmmm.

At least there's something I can think about now. Maybe in a couple of hours i can write about something that won't make me worry about such nonsense.

At Last! Baguio!

If you're going to ask any Filipino in the world what is the summer capital of the Philippines, they will answer only one place. They'll answer Baguio. The last time that i went there was when i was 7 or 8 years old. I was with my uncle. I never thought that I'll be able to go back there again. I was with three friends and my Bebe of course.

They planned the trip for only two days. Dave, James and Bebe planned it. I thought it's not going to push through but last July 25 at 9pm we rode a bus (Victory Liner) going to Baguio. At first a wasn't that excited because I was thinking that I have no money for the trip an



d nakakahiya naman kay Bebe because he's the one who's going to pay for the whole trip.

Couple of days before we left, i kept on telling him that I don't want to go because I don't want him to pay for our expenses. But when he told me na bumawi na lang ako next time. i said Yes, I'll go with him. I was also thinking that since for the past weeks, I've been thinking about my sickness and I needed a break from all of that.

We arrived in Baguio at about 3;30 am, six hours from the time we left Manila. We checked in a the Tulip Inn, a stones throw away from the Victory Bus line terminal and we're at the back of Camp John hay. We paid for the room for only P1700 plus P200 for the extra matress (I think) for an overnight stay. We stayed there for two days, you do the math.

Throughout our stay, we rode taxi's while going around the city. It's good na walang nagongontrata na taxi at htey can take you wherever you want to go. Puro FX and taxi dun. Galing di ba?

I wan't able to sleep I guess because of excitement. I was thinking about the places we're going and the things that we're going to do for the rest of our stay. It's been more than a decade since I first went there and I am wondering if Baguio change during the time I last went there.

That morning we got up, took some pictures and got ready for the day ahead. The first place we went to was the famous Session Road. It's a downhill road that has lot's of places that served an array of foods. You can choose from Chinese, Italian and Filipino dishes. Of course we chose a Filipino-Chinese restaurant. It served an eat-all-you can brunch. You have to get a bowl and put anything and everything you can from veggies to pork, chicken, beef and also to top it all of, you can also put different kinds of sauce. It's like you're making your own rice bowl. Once you made your own bowl, they'll fry it and serve it to you hot just like you wanted.

After eating we went to SM Baguio. I heard that the SM here didn't have air conditioning and they are right. SM Baguio is the coldest mall the I've ever been to and wow it's really doesn't have any air conditioning. We went there because James, who works for Oxygen, has to check the shop. Dave bought an Ipod charger because he doesn't have that and we didn't bring our laptop.

the next destination was the Minesview park. We rode a taxi going there and along the way we say the summer house of the president that look like the Malacanang Palace. We also saw the park where they can ride horses (I'm sorry I forgot the name of the park). When arrived there we immediately went to the bangin. We took pictures and I was wowed by the view. Mines view park didn't even changed throughout the years. There's so many tourists also that are doing what tourists do best, kodakan.

After appreciating the beautiful view Minesview has to offer we went bargain and souvenir shopping. I bought an ashtray with a penis carving (P65) for my mom ( as a joke), Bebe bought a rosary (P50) for his mom, Dave bought rosary bracelets, James bought key chains (P10 each) and Julius bought 9 shirts (P100 each).

We also went to the market to check for the prices of other pasalubongs that we can buy like ube halaya (3 for P100), lengua de gato (3 for P100), strawberry jam (P90), walis tambo (3 for p100) and of course strawberries (P100).

We also went to Burnham Park. You csn go boating there, eat mais ( ver huge corn), picture taking and ride a bike. We only took pictures there. Before the trip my bebe told me not to smoke ciggies because I'm sick and all, but when we went to the park, the wind is blowing hard and I't very cold (at 4pm) and there's nothing I could do but to smoke. Of course I got guilty because I really wanted to stop smoking for faster recovery.

After prancing around the park, we went home, slept and at 10 pm we went out to have dinner. There's a place there called Nevada Square. Kapitbahay lang namin un and it's one of the gimik spots in Baguio. It's a compound that has about 10 Bars in it. you can choose from an acoustic bar, hiphop, trance and dining. We ate at Beach house (one of the bars). I ate lechon kawali and I was surprised to see a familiar face. One of the managers working there was working for a bar in Las Pinas called tito boys. That's where I used to hang out. She told me that the owners of tito boy also owns the place but the owners are not here. Bummer! I thought we'll be getting free food.

It was a very rainy evening and foggy too. I jus stayed indoors while the others are drinking their hearts out. I can't go to closed spaces with lots of people smoking and I can't drink alcoholic drinks as well. So I stayed in the room, listened to James' Ipod. I listened to Avenue Q, which was hilarious, before going to sleep.

After drinking my friends and bebe went to yello cab for a midnight snack. They told me my bebe got dizzy and almost fainted. I didn't know what to do when they told me that. i hope nothing's wrong with my bebe.

We woke up late the next day. We're supposed to check out at 2 but we're still not ready to go out at 11 am. We still have to eat lunch and go to the market to buy pasalubong. We left the inn and ate lunch. it's really rainy and we heard that there's a typhoon and it's signal number one there. It was too foggy out and you'll think if you're still in the Philippines because it's rare that you'll see such thick fog here in our country.

So after eating and buying pasalubong, we went to the inn and packed out bags and went to the terminal. We left Baguio at about 3 pm and arrived here in Manila at 9 in the evening.

It was one of the best vacations that i had in years and I will definitely go back there within this year.

Sickly

Why is it when you wanted to do things right, something really bad happens. Take mine for instance, I’ve been trying not to miss work but I ended up not going to work because I have no voice. I can’t work without my voice since I’m working in a call center there’s nothing I can do there without it!

When I first got my check up, the doctor said its pharyngitis. But when I go to another doctor, he said I have swollen vocal chords. He prescribed medicines that are expensive. I don’t even have enough money to buy those.

I only have 4oo pesos in my pocket and I need to buy meds good for one week. I’ve sent SMS’ to each and every person that can help me but a couple replied saying they don’t have enough money. That is very understandable.

It’s not that I’m complaining but why is this happening when I’m not ready. Many people say bad things come or challenges come when you least expect it. I expected something is coming but I never thought it could be this bad.

I went back to my doctor and he asked me to have LVES done. I didn’t know what it stands for but I’ll look it up on the Internet next time. It’s a procedure called endoscopy wherein they’ll put in a pipe in your throat with a video camera in it and it’ll take in shots of your throat and vocal chords as it goes through your mouth and throat.

I had it scheduled the next day and went back on Monday (July 21^st). It was scheduled at 11 am and I arrived at 11:15. Good thing I have mf good friend Mohn to cheer me up. I really got stressed because of the traffic that day.

The very handsome Doctor whose last name is Enriquez did the procedure. While he’s putting the pipe in, I almost puked, good thing I haven’t had lunch yet. So what he did is instead of a pipe (which is made of metal by the way) he got a smaller and longer one and is like a tube that he can put inside my nose and make it down all the to my to my vocal chords to get a shot of it.

I went back the next day and got the results, I was with my mom. My mom was very nervous about the whole thing. She’s even more nervous than I am. I think if she hadn’t got a hold of herself, she could’ve cried there. I can’t blame her, everything happened because of what I’m doing to myself.

When we got the result, they saw a Leukoplakia on my vocal chords. It’s a white patch that can be seen in the mouth, lips or throat. As per my “Bebe”, he searched for it on the Internet, it main cause is usually smoking. When my doctor saw the result, he told me I might have Tuberculosis and I have to consult with a Pulmunologist and have to undergo several tests. He told me that if we were able to rule out TB, the next thing that has to be done is a biopsy. In other words, I have to go under the knife.

After meeting up with Doctor Santos, I immediately went to Medicard so that they can refer me to a specialist. They referred me to Dr. Bacayana. He’s a nice doctor but not as good looking as the other two. Hah! When I had my first check-up with Doctor Nice, he told me go right ahead with the tests namely X-ray, Sputum and PPD.

At the present, I’m done with the x-ray, I’ve submitted my third and final sputum sample and my PPD result just got in. I’m negative for TB based on my X-ray nad the first two sputum samples. But I got positive for my PPD. It’s kinda mixed up at this point but I’m still hoping. Still have my fingers crossed at all of this.

The only thing that I have to do now is to wait for my last sputum result and then I have to meet up with Dr. nice and see what he has to say.

Kolehiyala

Do I ever have to explain everything about myself to you? Why should guys like me have to explain why I chose to live this kind of life? I don’t care of what you think and dsy about me. Just let me be and leave me alone.

All I wanted for you to do is accept the fact that I’m s fag and there’s nothing you can do to change that.

I hate it when someone says that they’re right about me as if I’ve been hiding or something. To tell you the truth, I’m no hiding anything from you. I’ve been like this since I learned how o play my sister’s Barbie doll. I’ve been like this since I started watching the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant with my mom and sisters. I’ve been like this since I imitate models to the tune of rhythm of the night.

You don’t know me that well. I don’t see you as a long time friend that’s why I didn’t tell you straight forward about the real me. We have different tastes. I’m a different person from the day we first met. I bet when you see me now, you’ll ask yourself, is he the Vincent that I met in college?

My college life was a bit of a drama. That was the time that I’m looking for who I really was. I tried to set things straight and tried to be somebody that I’m not. I didn’t have fond memories of college.

When I was a freshman, I’m one of the straight A students who got a full scholarship grant from a company. I passed my subjects with flying colors. During that time, I met 7 very good friends that made my first year of college unforgettable. During my sophomore year, I had a girlfriend, had my first failing grade, joined our school publication and went to Mendiola for a rally. During that year, my failures as a college student started: not only in my grades but also in life.

June came and I was a junior. More failing grades came. I was behind my classmates in terms of subjects that we have to take. Though I was one of the few who got qualified for the course but still it showed that I didn’t deserve to be there. My father also died that year. This particular event in my life triggered my gayness to sprout. I met guys through MIRC. I had casual sex with the same sex and also dated some of them.

During that year, I experienced things that I didn’t experience before. I met a group of people same as me. Went to “sex parties” and I also went partying in Malate all by myself.

My senior year came. I decided to work part-time as an academic tutor to Korean students. In which it didn’t go well. I skipped classes. I wasn’t able to attend early morning classes because I’m so tired to get up early in the morning. I failed lots of my subjects that year. It made me depressed just thinking about it.

This year, I met my “Bebe” in a bar in malate. Who would’ve though that meeting someone in a bar would end up in a three year relationship? At least sa lovelife ok.

I was really stressed that year because I was thinking that I might not able to finish my studies, which I didn’t.

It was my fifth year as a mechanical engineering student; things didn’t go out as planned. I only attended half the school year. When I was about to enroll, they didn’t let me because I don’t have a copy of my grades. So, what I did is I looked for a job and got accepted in a call center, the job that I still do at the present.

Wala naming masama kung maging bading ako di ba? Kung sa pagiging bakla, wala akong ginawang masama pero pagdating sa pag-aaral ko, doon ako may problema. Until now, I still can’t figure out why I did those things in the past. I was really clumsy and didn’t think before I do something. I’ve taken things for granted. I was in rush of being a grown up. Nowadays, I try to change things. I make sure that I don’t make the same mistakes again. Tama ba itong way of thinking?

For the next year, I’m not going to let myself end up ruining myself for not finishing my studies. I will make sure that I’ll be accepted in the UPOU. I’ll do whatever it takes. I shouldn’t be afraid of taking risks. Why am I working my ass of every single day?

I should do something as early as now. After writing this blog, a goal must be set. Ako lang ang makakatulong sa sarili ko. Wala nang iba.

Still No Voice!

Haaaay! This is very frustrating. I was happy when I went back to work last friday (July 3,8008). I thought it would be a star of something new. I was focused on not repeating the things that i did wrong the past year. But then came Monday and then Tuesday. I was smoking outside the office. That was my morning ritual before going to work. I saw Meg, she ordered take out at McDonald's. We were trying to catch up on the juiciest gossip and some other stuff when I felt that there's no voice coming out of my mouth, again!

I spoke to my team leader. I told her that somethings wrong with my voice. She told me not to speak for the mean time. Right after logging in, we had our 30 minute meeting. We spoke about product stuff and thing we shouldn't forget while taking in calls.

After the meeting, it's time to take calls. I was really nervous because I can't speak clearly. I just thought that I have to cleas my throat and everything's gonne be fine. The call came and man! It was really terrible. I was hoarse and the person that i'm speaking with noticed it. I was really embarrassed.

He just told me to take care of myself and he's going to pray for me. thanks a lot sir!

While I was on my aftercall work mode, I approached my tl and told her that the customer couldn't understand what I was saying and I am having a hard time speaking. I knew that things that I'm supposed to say but I can't say it.

What I did is I asked her if i could go to the nurse's station and have my throat checked. While I was there i told the nurse what happened. I told her I had a fever and I was able to have it checked with a physician. He asked me to take some meds but i wasn't able to take the anti-biotic he prescribed because it was too expensive.

In our country, we don't have prescription benefits unlike in the states. The only things that are covered on our hmo is the medical stuff. Like professional fees, payment for diagnosis, tests and other medical stuff. But not the meds.

The nurse then asked me to go home and have a voice rest. Good thing my team leader was very mabait that she gave permission for me to go on leave for the day. Of course wih pay.

The search for the hospital and doctor started. I first went to USt hospital in Espana Manila. My experience there was ver horrible. I hope many people will be able to read this. After what happened to me, I felt i wanted to send an email to the president or officer in charge of the company.

I asked the security guard where do patients supposed to go. Since it was my first time to go there, I have to ask. He said why ami I going there. Didn't I just tell him that I'm a patient! He even asked me to lead an identification card before he'd let me in. I left my SSS I.D.. I went in and proceeded directly to the information desk. I asked the receptionist where do medicard holders go, she told me the room but she said it's by appointment only. She didn't even asked me why I'm going there without an appointment and if it was urgent or something. She just locked me out and didn't even give any other options. So i left.

The next hospital that I go to was Cardinal Santos Medical Center. There's no docotor available until 10am the next day. Huuhuhuhu!

As a last resort, I went to the Medical City. Luckily there's a hot doctor available until 5pm. I was able to have it checked with an Ear Nose throat doctor. He check my throat through endoscopy and he found out that i have acute laryngitis and my vocal chord is swollen. He suggested for me not to smoke, eat too much and avoid caffeinated drinks. Too bad! He prescribed expensive medicines and there's nothing that I can do about it.

It's really true that the only time that you're doing thing right and that are healthy when you're already sick. Now i drink lots of H2O, eat on time, drink my medicines , eat right and smoke for some time ( I can't kick out of the habit i'm sorry). Is there a nicotine patch available here in the Philippines?

Hopefully after aweek, my voice will come back and I think since my birthday I coming up ( 5 days) I can't drink alcohol and party and smoke and puke and get drunk as planned! Bummer!

There's a dead rat in our bathroom!

Eeeew! I can't believe I'm writing a blog about this thing inside our bathroom! Hah! I'm not afraid of that! Are you? Why so many people are afraid of rats? Does it represent something that we don't want to think or speak of?

As for myself, di ako takot sa mga daga. "Daga" that's what we call rats here in the Philippines. There's so many of them here. Lurking around our room, kitchen, garage, name it it's there. it doesn't matter what's your status in society, they still have the so-called "Mabait" as a visitor from time to time.

2008 is the year of the rat. I'm year of the rat. We rat, as what they say, are very hardworking persons. Very intelligent, just like what it did in the ancient race that made the rat first in the chinese calendar. It won the race when it rode at another animals back just to cross the river. Hah! Very clever!

Nowadays, rats can't out play us. It's because of one thing... racumin. Ilagay mo lang sa gilid=gilid ng bahay, tepok si daga! Poor mice, so cute and cuddly. Because of just one blue capsule or something, it will digest the blue thing to it's death.

Before i end this blog, one question... Paano ko aalisin ang daga sa banyo namin? In english, how will be able to remove that stinking rat out of our bathrom? Ayayay!

No Voice!

How can be a call center agent if I have no voice?

Yeah, you heard me right, after two weeks of coughing, I woke up one morning without any voice. Di man lang ako makakanta! Kasi naman nagyoyosi pa ako eh! My "Bebe" kept on telling me not to smoke anymore but there are times that i don't listen.

I went to the doctor last Monday (01-07-2008) to check what's going on. He found out that I have pharyngitis. I though that it was something really serious but it turns out that it's another term for "sore throat."

When I knew what was going on, I had mixed emotions. There's a side of me wanting to have something worse than this. But there's another side that tells me that i should get better so i can go back to work.

Huhuhuhu! I hate. The only thing that I'm doing right now is to drink my meds and smoke from time to time. Hahahahah!

Hopefully I can go back o work and I have to be in my best shape because my birthday is coming up. Yehey!

No more free lunch

After all the hard work, after all the calls I’ve taken, it all comes down to not getting the free lunch!

In order for our team not to incur any more compliance zeroes, she made a reward for those who will get a perfect compliance score. She’ll treat them a free lunch.

Three weeks have passed since the start of June; there were only two agents who have a perfect compliance score. That’s me and j-ze.

I was really close of getting that free lunch until my fourth compliance rating came today. I got my first zero ever. I only forgot the payment processing fee for making credit card payments.

It was an honest mistake and at least it’s not a very grave error unlike missing id checking or no taking down notes. At least!

I’ll make sure that next time, I will not forget even the smallest details! I hope I’ll get the free lunch next month! As a birthday gift!

A Week of Firsts!

Wow! What a week it was! There are a lot of things that happened. I don’t know where to start. The week started on a Saturday night (June 14) party. It was our friend Dong’s birthday. It was his 38^th birthday and he still looked fabulously young. I want to know what his secret is.

We had beers and good food to eat. His boyfriend Rommel made it for him. How sweet! By the way, they’ve been together for about ten years. Back to alcoholic beverages, I was able to drink about 7 bottles and had a few (don’t know how many is few to you) rum shots with four seasons as a chaser. Because there’s nothing to drink, I have to drink more rum shots and after the shots, then came the problem. I got drunk!

I felt a little satisfied when I get drunk. It’s not like I get drunken everyday. But when you come to think of it, after a work week, all you think of is to have a good time and drink with your best buds.

And that’s what I did. Good thing I was with my “Bebe” to drive me home. I thought I wasn’t able to make it home. I was really dizzy and I threw up 4-5 times. Hehehe!

Next day came. I had the worst hang over ever and then I realized I promised my sister that I’ll be buying her sons school uniforms since school is almost starting. Then I scrambled, took a bath, got dressed then went straight to Divisoria, where else! It was the nearest to my place. It’s only a jeepney ride a way since I’ll be coming from Sampaloc.

So when I arrived there, I looked for the cheapest uniform being sold there. Then suddenly, jackpot! A polo jacket for only 65 pesos (Size 10) and for a small polo jacket it’s only 95 pesos! I didn’t think twice, I bought two pieces of each size. I also bought sandos to match the back-to-school outfit.

Of course I didn’t forget my own needs! Ha! I don’t want to leave there empty handed. I only got 200 pesos in my wallet. I’m thinking of what would be the item that is useful ad of course within my budget. After 30 minutes of walking in 168, I saw a watch for only 100 bucks. After two minutes, I left there with a happy face and I know what it is.

After eating lunch in Recto, I went home and have Mcdo deliver fillet-o-fish for my “Bebe”.

I started my work week feeling rusty. I’m beginning to cough and started feeling cold all of a sudden. I though, Oh no not again! I’m beginning to feel things that I felt when I was with my previous companies. Not feeling well, didn’t want to go to work, want to stay home and sleep all day.

No! I won’t let this happened. I told my team leader that I came to work even though I’m not at my 100%. She said “‘good!” Now I’m back on track! I’m not gonne let it happen again. Then the next day came, and then at exactly 7 in the morning, my team leader’s phone rang. Somebody called in sick and won’t be able to go to work. Guess who!

Two days later, I went back to work. On that day, all I ever think of is how to get my stats up again. I don’t want to be at the bottom again! I have to regroup and stay focused. Hope the last days of June will be better. At that time, I also decided to go on overtime on Saturday. Just to make up for the two days that I was absent.

Friday came, my officemates were really excited because the work week is almost over. Weekend is just around the corner. For me, it’s another day to show them what I got, to erase my very first absence in my new company. That’s a first!

Before my Friday shift ends, my second to the last call was a little complicated. I had to call the account holder because the one that I’m peaking with was not authorized to have access on the account. For some, calling someone will make their average handling time longer. But for me, I need to help the lady out and I don’t want to have her call us again because it’ll be a waste of time for her and for the next agent who’ll accept the call once she calls back again.

So what I did, I called the a/c holder, added her as an authority and went on with the call. The whole call went well and at the end of it, she asked o speak with a supervisor to tell her how well I did with the call.

I was really surprised. I’ve never had a commendation since I started in this industry. And what good timing it is for me to have one. I thought, is this a sign. Am I really meant to stay with 24/7? Will I be able to achieve the promotion I always wanted?

Then I realized that If I’m going to continue what I’m doing then everything is possible. I’ll make sure that it will not the first, but it will be start of something good and better future for me.

All I have to do is to work it and see what outcome it brings. Things like that really mean something, am I right? Even though I started the week bad, with hard work and of course patient, it ended up well. Being commended by someone for doing a good job is very inspiring.

I hope I can continue doing what I’m doing, thinking the way I’m thinking and to feel what I’m feeling not only throughout my stay I this company but for the rest of my life.

Training is over!

Just graduated from training! After a month of grueling lectures and a pile of exercises that make us feel drained and sleepy, I made it with flying colors! I was even awarded as a "calss clown"! Hahahaaha!

There's so many people that I wanna thank and things that I should be thankful for!

My trainor, for being so patient with me. There are times that I don't pay attention, crack jokes out of nowhere and ask weird questions that only a weirdo will ask. With all those, she still put up with my crack and I thank her for that! Thanks Judi!

My bebe, for letting me know that he's there for me no matter what! For encouraging me for doing my best and for reminding me that I don't just do this for nothing! That's really important to me specially now!

To my friends and co-trainees! For making this training the best training that I've ever had in years! thanks for making this a very memorable experience.

You must be wondering why I don this. If you've read my previous blog, you'll know why but since sinipag ako magsulat ngaun, kahit nabura ung draft (Hmp!) sige na nga! Everything that is happening to me know, I make sure that the things that happened to me in the past won't happen again. I'm trying to reinvent myself by looking at the positive side of things. I think, thanking all the people around me is one way of being optimistic.

What I'm doing right now might be boring for others, we'll I'm not living my life for them. This time, I'm doing it for myself, once everything is back on track again, I know I can do good to others, specially help my mom financially and for me to make her feel that i'm still here and I'm here to help her no matter what!

The beginning of a new me

The days that had gone by after I wrote my last blog have been very interesting. I experienced a very unusual feeling, which I've never felt before and learned so many things about myself. I can't believe that for the longest time... I am at peace and I am happy with the way things are going with my life.

When it comes to my work, everything is fabulous! I learned so many things about our product that will make me well equipped and be ready when I take in calls - alone. I got very good feedback from our SMEs (Subject Matter Experts) and so far I am also getting high grades in my call monitoring. This is new for me.

I also have no problems with my co-workers, I hope. There are times that I'm very careful with what I do and say around them. I really wanted to be friends with them and I don't want them to see my bad habits (if there is any?) and anything that would make them think that they don't want to be friends with me anymore.

When I go to work, I don't feel the laziness or even dread of going to work. I wanted to go to work everyday. To be honest, I love it when I feel this way and I don't want to ask why am I like this now. I don't want to know why didn't this happen before with my 2 previous works.

I'm still sad that my previous work didn't work out as planned but I feel contented now that I got what I really wanted.

I can't believe that I can work my ass off and have fun all at the same time. I love it when i think of all the things that I can do after work. At least now, there is something that I look forward to at the end of the day. I thought, this is the one that I didn't have before. I thank God because after all the failure, He still gave me the chance to prove myself that I can still do it. Yes!!!

I am also seeing myself climbing the corporate ladder here. I was able to let them see and know what I'm capable of and I will make sure that I'll be consistent enough for them to realize that I'm not just impressing them for the time being but I am doing this because i can and will continue doing it for the rest of my stay with their company.

I don't what to be like my old self again. I like the new me. I hope that I can be even a better me in the next months!

Mayo

Wow! Time flies when you're having fun. I didn't notice that it's already May. This would mean a lot of things. First, I only have 2-3 weeks before taking in calls for our client. Second, I still have so many debts to pay this month. Third, summer here in the Philippines is almost over. Lastly, I'm gonna be 25 years old in 2 months!

Everything is well with our training. There are times when I get bored or sleepy but at least I understand what the module is about. When I get bored, I just think of something to say that will make everyone laugh or something will make me smile. I got caught day dreaming one time. It was so embarrassing!

Hay! Ang dami ko pang utang! Kay bebe, mohn and HSBC. If you're reading this Mohn, I might not be able to pay you in full yet! hope you understand!

Summer is ending. But for me it's not over yet! Summer isn't over 'til I say so! I still have three weekends of beach hopping! Yippee!

I didn't know that everything will be like this when I turn 25. Well, when I was in high school, I was thinking that I'm gonna be a med student at this age. Which didn't happened... But so far, I'm happy with what I am right now. No regrets... I hope!

Excuse my Accent!

I just finished the second leg of my training with the new company. I learned so many things during the 12-day training but there are some things that I have to change and enhance.

Of all the trainings that I took during my previous jobs, this would be the best so far. They focused on customer service skills which I think should be focused prior to product training. I realized that even though I've been in this industry for about 2 years now, I wasn't fluent and assertive enough to be an effective call center agent.

If you come to think of it, It's not easy to be fluent and assertive overnight. it made me a little frustrated because when we defined the communication styles, I found out that I'm a very passive person. So if you're going to change a passive person to an assertive one, i think i'll be needing to have 10 sessions with shrink to be one. Hahahaha!

At least I know what to work on but I don't know how to work on it. I guess I'll consult my "Bebe" about it or just be myself and consciously tell myself if I'm being passive so that I can change it into an assertive one.

As a Filipino, most of us are not fluent enough when it comes to conversing in the English language. Most of us are not confident wnough to speak in english and according to my trainor we should have confidence in order for us to be a very effective english speaker.

Knowing what you're talking about is also one thing. Based on experience, while starting on a new product, It will be hard for me to be fluent when speaking with customers. Kasi there is still doubt and also we're still unsure if what we're saying is correct or not. Fluency is one thing that we can work out over time. But in this industry, time is of the essence and we have to be fluent pronto! This I don't have a problem, I hope! (Is this passive?)

The thing that worries me is my accent. Our trainers encourage us to have a neutral accent. Not american, not british and not australian but a neutral one. An accent that can be understood by everyone. This, I think, is the new weakness that I didn't notice for quite some time. When I was working with my first call center, my colleagues already notice it but they don't look at it as a bad thing. I was understood and there were only few instances wherein I was asked by a customer where I came from. For the longest time, I thought that was okay.

For you to have an idea what accent am I referring to, I have a slight british/aussie accent. Sometime I forget to pronounce the letter "R" and the way I pronounce the vowel sound. For example, I read "are you joking" as "ar u jowking" with a rising intonation. Huhuhuhu!

It sounds convincing but I don't If am really aussie or british sounding bloke. It's not like I don't like the accent, I think the accent is Lovely, but it's hard for me to be conscious about it. There are times when I speak, I thought I have a neutral accent but I don't.

I need to do something about this. I think I have to finish all 6 seasons of sex and the city or the past 2 seasons of heroes! Do you think that would help? I hope so...

Sunburn! At last!!

Yahoo! Finally, i was able to hit the beach this summer! Courtesy of our company, which had their summer outing in White Rock beach resort at Subic last Saturday. I really had a great time. I was with my co-trainees, about 7 out of 20 I guess.

We left Makati at 7am. We had games while in the bus since it's going to be at least 3 hours for us to arrive at our destination. We had a bring-me game and I won a sunvisor! But unfortunately I didn't win the grand prizes which are the 1 hour Jetski ride and the 30 minute kayak. But all is well we had free Jollibee breakfast and videoke!

When we arrived in the resort, I immediately get my sunblock and put it on me. I brought 2, of course one for the face and 1 for my whole body. The sunblock that I put on my face has to have a higher SPF than the one I put on my body. While I was putting sunblock I asked myself, why am I putting so much on, eh my goal is to be burnt by the sun? Well, I don't wanna have skin cancer that's why I continued, better safe than sorry!

After that, we swam in the swimming pool, it's 6 feet deep and the chlorine irritates my eyes and I don't have any goggles, Shit! I swam and swam with my friends but got tired because I'm only 5'4 and the pool is a little deep. I kinda scared of the deep.

In the program, there's a little bikini contest. In that contest, which I didn't watch, there are male and female contestants. Some of them have good bodies but the one that setruck me is the transvestite in a two-piece bikini! Ang tapang!

So off to beachy again! I wanna lay in the sand but my friends don't want to stay in the shore too long because they don't want to get dark. I don't know why Filipinos wanted to have a fair complexion. For me, I love my color! It's very oriental and I will look even younger with this skin color. It's healthy naman na once in a while e humiga ka sa ilalim ng 1 - 2 hours di ba? Kaso nga lang di ko na nagawa huhuh, kasi wala akong kasama!

Lunch passed and merienda, I saw other who were rowing in their kayaks and I told them I wanna do that too. One told me that the person who won the free 30 minute kayak didn't want to do it anymore. Yes! I thought. So I asked him if I could use it, then he said sure why not! Yippee!

At first I was having a blast but after 10 minutes, my muscles are aching and I don't want to do it anymore. It was very tiring and I don't want to be far away from the shore because I might not able to head back to the beach. What's the phobia for the deep ocean? Alam mo b un?

The day ended when It took me about 15 minutes to look for my friend because she had my claim stub, of course to claim my bag so that I can hit the shower. It's already 5 o'clock and still I can't find her! Grrrrr! So what I did is I just went there and told the person whos guarding the bags that I wasn't able to find her and I need my bag. Good thing I have an ID in my bag so I was able to claim it without the number.

In the bus going to Manila, Since I didn't have ant sleep since 11 am last friday, I just slept throughout the trip. I woke up while we were in Bulacan and the movie that is being played in the TV was an indie film about Jueteng. So I watch the movie and asked the bus to drop me at Ortigas because that's where my "Bebe" is at that time.

I can't say that It was one of the summer escapade to remember but thanks to our company I was able to hit the beach and made me even more motivated to work for them and for me to concentrate on what I am going to do oncen i hit the production floor!

Well, how was it? I hope...

Good news! I started my new job last Thursday. I didn't believe that I'm starting again as a trainee. I was nervous at that time because I wondered what my co-trainees would be like. I also wondered if my trainer and I will jive or they'll just be plain professional a dn don't have a sense of humor.

So far so good! i really enjoyed my first two days at work. I don't have any problems so far with all of them. All of them are so different from each other but I don't have any problems whatsoever with regard to adapting myself to each and every one of them.

I like the way the trainers discuss things and also they kinda make sure that we understand each slide before moving on to the next topic.

I only hope that everything will stay the same since the foundation skills training will only last for 12 days. I also hope that I won't have any problems when it come to the topics that will be discussed on the following days since I had a problem with my previous training where I was kicked out and didn't pass the evaluation-that sucks-and didn't move on to the next training.

I'm happy with the way things are right now. Good trainees and excellent trainers. I think the only thing that bugs me is if I'll stay longer on this company and hopefully won't encounter problems once I reach on the production floor.

------> i always have my fingers crossed everytime I go to work!
------> maybe that's my secret... I hope!

Yuppie for the Nth time

I'll be starting my new job on Thursday. I'm excited and scared at the same time because there are so many questions in my head that needs to be answered. I don't know if my answers to those questions are enough but there's nothing I can do for now and I hope the answers that i have is correct. But if not, then that's another blog for me. :-)



a good company for growth?



I'm not yet sure. Sana! They told me during my orientation that it will take a year for an agent to be promoted to either a Subject Matter Expert or a Team Leader. Which not too long. It's good to know that I still have a year to impress everyone. A full year of hard work, stress, friendships, problems, good times and bad times. Hope everything will be paid off.



Right now, I don't know if I'll be promoted in this kind of industry. I don't know why I'm thinking this way. I know what I'm capable of and I know I can make it but there's something subconscious that keeps me from achieving promotion.



With my first job, I was so close to be promoted. Damn! I really f%$#ed up in that company. I had so many instance of absences and tardiness. But I already proved to myself that I can go to work everyday. Kasi with my last company, from the first day 'til my last day, I didn't have any absences or even a late. Yakang-yaka!



Is the salary enough for me to live?



Yesssssss-terday!



This is the big question, Will I be working with people that I can harmoniously work with?



This, I think, is the one that I'm really really scared of. Huhuhu! I don't know if there's something wrong with me or they are the ones who have some problems. When I was with eTel, i didn't have any problems with my TL, teammates and everybody else. but when I joined the other two... the problem started.



My TLs are always mad at me. My teammates don't speak to me. When i walk past them, it's like they're always saying bad things about me. I don't know why are they like that. It's not like I'm not trying to be friends with or at least have a very professional relationship with them. But there's something that I don't know that might piss them of before.



This time, I'll be quiet (low profile). I'll make sure I'll do good in training as what I did in the two previous companies. I'll concentrate and focus with what I am doing. I'll listen carefully to the instructions of my superiors and take them to heart.

I think I'm ready for new things. There are so many lessons that I've learned from my previous companies. I hope I'll be able to apply those at para maging maayos na lahat. Ayoko nang mangyari ulit sa akin un.

I'll just wait and see what comes of it. Maybe I'm just a little paranoid because at the back of my head, the things that happened before will happen again.

But this time, I won't let that happen. I know that there are people who'll be there for me and this time, I'll listen to them.

Ukay-ukay Shopping Spree!

Wow! I didn't think that we can buy such treasures in U.K.! UK stands for ukay-ukay by the way. Yeah! I've said you may think that I'm cheap and all but there are times that we have to go to these so-called "Thrift Shops" because if you're going to ask me, there are so many things that are still useful and of course you have to wash it three times!

This would be the third time that I went to these shops. And man! This building that we ransacked was really a treasure trove! I was able to buy a pair of khaki pants (for summer and an additional to my list of things to buy!) and a long sleeve jacket (for office). I was also able to buy a Zara Men pants and a Levis long sleeve polo. How chick no?

It took us about 2 hours to find those and it was worth it! There were five or us who brave the five-storey building. We started at the top most floor and we went our way down. Most of the shops sold clothes, for men and women, they also sold toys, furniture and other weird stuff (Happy Meal Toys! What the!).

Yes, you heard me right, Happy meal toys. I don't understand why they have to sell that. I don't know if Mcdonalds can sue them or not but I don't recommend you guys to buy that (that is if you're going?) because you might be in trouble also.

If you want to brave the ukay-ukay, just be ready. Be ready to bargain, to search (it's like digging for gold or anything that is buried) or scavenge. You'll be surprised, again, on what are the things that you'll find! Maybe you can buy an Armani Exchange shirt for P150, a Louis Vuitton bag for P1,000 or a Levis Strauss na pants for only P250.

Ukay-ukay's are like 7-11 stores. It's everywhere! So go! If you're free and if there's new arrival at the store! Start the adventure of a lfetime!

New Job... New Blog... New School

Well, what can i say! I'm so tired of explaining why i quit my job and why I applied again and ended up on the same type of work, again!

Sh#* happens and what frustrates me more is there's nothing that I can do about it. I'm just saying this because i keep on planning and planning and I can't seem to make things happen for myself. Look for a job that I can be at my best. Look for a school and finish college. I've done all that! I'm tired! But, is that it? I can be tired! i can give up now!

I'm trying to give signs to my family that i'm kinda desperate and needed their help. But they don't seem to read between the lines and dedmalyn dunka lang ang emote. That leaves me no other choice but to work my a$$ off and study... all at the same time.

Just thinking about it makes me sick and I'm scared if I can pull it off or not. I tried to do that b ut to no avail... I failed. I worked a as academic tutor to koreans while taking some units in college. i was able to do it for 1 whole year. The schedules went crazy and I wasn't able to get my summary of grades and without it, they won't let me enroll (bwisit na registrar ng PUP-taguig). I decided not to enroll for that semester and will file for a leave of absence.

A month later, I applied for a job in a call center and started working with them right away. Which gave me no time to file my leave of absence. After a year, i came back to my school and asked if they will still accept me eventhough I didn't have a leave of absence. "Sorry, you can't come back. The curriculum has changed and we won't let you enroll again." the registrar said. "Is there anyway that I can enroll, perhaps I can just shift to Accountancy or something. Please?" I said teary eyes to make the scene more beautiful and dramatic. 'Sorry, there's nothing we can do. The only thing you can do if file for a Honorable dismissal." she said. "ok! (hikbi)"

I felt so helpless that day. To think that I only have at least a year to finish my course but still they didn't even have me reconsidered! b>%$#^^t!

I filed for an Honorable dismissal a few months after. When that particular task was done, the next thing that I have to do is to look for a school that will accept a student like me. If you see my transcript, wow! It's so colorful. All possible grades that you can get as a college student... I have it. incomplete, 5.0, 1.0, DR, no grade, 5.0 na naging 3.0... you name it, I have it all!

Of couse, If I'm planning to go back to school but there's no one who can help me. I have to look for a job to pay for my tuition and everythig. Sana lang, kahit man lang tulungan nila akong mag-umpisa and I will do the rest. Iniisip ko lang ito para mabuhayan ako ng loob. Ok ba na mind-set ito?

The options that I have so far is to try and apply in PNU and take up BS Mathematics or in UP open university and take up Associate in Arts for starters. For PNU, the only problems that I will encounter, maybe, is the schedule of my classes. My work will be in the morning since I'll be handling an Australian account. With UPOU, First, I have to make sure that I'll pass the entrance exam (I failed UPCAT kasi eh!) and then saka ko na proproblemahin ung internet access.

For me to start applying to those schools, I need andaloo... and where can I get that......? Syempre... From my new job you idiot!

After 3 companies, 1 good and 2 bad, I ended up umemployed. Wanting to make changes and start anew. I was thinking of becoming a Barista or work in a fastfood resto to pay for my schooling. the money that I will make won't be enough kaya b alik call center na lang ako ulit. Sheesh!

Kaya e2, balik call center na naman ako. Same old s#!t. Same old, same old. I have to find ways to motivate myself and also I have to learn how to speak up and tell myself what I need, what I want and also I have to teach myself to remind me what are the things that needs to be done.

By starting with my new work, with my fingers crossed, I hope that this will serve as a go-signal, my green light, to start my plans and also be a stepping stone to make my dreams come true... to finish college!

Summer Time

It's freaking hot out!

Geez! I don't like going out these days! Whenever I have to go somewhere, do errands or work on something, I sometimes change my mind 'coz I feel like I'm a pop corn in a microwave oven ready to pop 'coz of the heat!

It's this the time of the year when all of us are heading for the nearby or far beaches to relax and of course to enjoy the burning feeling of the summer sun! Unfortunately, i'm almost out of time to hit the beach. :-(... Still don't have the anda to go to Puerto Galera or Baguio for my summer shindig. What's more depressing is my "Bebe" is leaving for P.G. next weekend and i won't be able to come with them. I've always wanted to go there with him and the rest of the sheddans!

Wanna know why I can't come? It's because I'll be starting a new job on April 3. It's with 24/7, a call center in Makati. And i can't be absent on my first few days right? And besides, I don't want to depend on my "Bebe" to pay for the trip and everything. Baka di siya mag-enjoy! hehehehe!

Hopefully I can end this season with a bang! Perhaps a trip to Baguio? or Splash island? Kahit saan basta may tubig! Kahit palanggana papatulan ko na lang basta may inom akong Cosmopolitan para medyo sosyal!

There's so many things pa naman na gusto kong gawin! And there's so many things that I wanna buy!

* I wanna go to the beach with my mom, sisters and pamangkins - we were planning to go to Batangas last holy week. Ending, di natuloy kasi alang anda! Peste!

* I wanna come with "Bebe" to Puerto. Ending, hindi makakasama, kasi alang anda! Peste!

* I wanna buy summer stuff: shades, board shorts, a new pair of Havaiannas and sun block. Ending, walang mabili kasi alang anda. Peste!

* I wanna go with my friend Mohn to Pagudpod and Vigan on May. Ending, wala pang ending kasi sa May pa un. It's only April. Anything can happen! Peste!

What summer this has been. I've been whinning and whinning but when you come to think of it, there's still a lot of things I can do on this freaking hotness of a summer. I'm just glad that just thinking about the things that i can still do -- wait can i? Anyway, I still have one and a half months to go and let's see if this one summer will be one of those that I'll never forget.

Wish me luck on my new job! Hopefully there's no problem with my first and second paycheck para naman may magawa ako and Hopefully I don't have to write an angry blog about my experience with my new work.

Kahit makabili lang ako ng Havaiannas ok na! My summer will be complete! :)